Darkwind
Eulogy for General Pierce, To be held at Mezcals

Juris


Posted Oct 8, 2013, 5:20 pm
Pierce was the co-founder of the Hessians, forming the initially clueless gang from the image on a pre-Burn biker jacket she found in an old ruin. Pierce overcame the adversity of those early years with a combination of hard liquor, Zerk, and Neophetamines. A berserker psychopath, Pierce was horribly disfigured by injuries during the Christmas Day Massacre, when a contract hit by the Lacerators outside Gateway took out half the gang. Recovering in the Elmsfield hospital, the (now) one-legged Pierce was informed she was the leader of the Hessians by default.

That was the catalyst of her transformation into a Valkyrie, who formed the struggling Hessians in her image.

Her philosophy was simple: Loyalty to none but our own, but honor the contract. Fight everyone, but not at the same time. And so the Hessians did. The Hessians are proud to have fought on both sides of every major conflict in Evan (though not at the same time). It was she that coined the gang's motto: Mercenaries that defy description.

Pierce recognized that the Hessians would need something more to fight for than money, so she developed her own quasi-religion. She taught that paradise is reserved for the powerful; those who achieve greatness in this life are accorded the honor of the Hall of Fame, which is like Valhalla only way more metal (and with a version of Elvis occasionally referred to as Sam, although this last part is not well understood even by the Hessians). Those in the Hall of Fame are served by the souls of those they have slain. Anyone in the Hessians who thought this was ludicrous was 'terminated'. Some still harbored their doubts until Pierce was able to petition the mad and infrequent god 'Sam' for resurrection of fallen comrades on two occasions because of a 'crash'. Eventually Pierce became a cult-like figure, not just among the Hessians but throughout Evan.

Despite never backing down from a fight, including an epic battle against the Thrill Junkies, Pierce finally lost her long battle with drugs and radiation and died at the ripe old age of 38. Just prior to death, Pierce called the remaining leaders of the Hessians together and made this simple request, “I'd like to hear my favorite band one more time.” After the musicians assembled and played their last song Pierce sighed peacefully before drawing her custom MP5 from her wooden leg, spraying the entertainer's brains on the wall. The Hessians understood, she was taking them with her to the paradise of the Hall of Fame.
*goat starer*


Posted Oct 8, 2013, 6:19 pm
Around Ss thousands of brightly coloured people nervously emerge...

Can she be?...

Really?...

Ding ding the witch is dead
Which old witch?
The alley witch
ding dong the wicked witch is dead...

And so on until a tornado sweeps them all up and dumps them in kansas
*Grograt*
gary.r.horder@gmail.com

Posted Oct 8, 2013, 6:26 pm
A gayly adorned man, swings his chair away from the bar.

So another takes the long walk to the chicken coup in the sky

he raises his egg nog and turns back to the bar
*Longo*


Posted Oct 10, 2013, 11:56 pm
Eddie "Walk on Water" Money, of Longo's Merry Men comments "Damn hospital was wheeling the dead corpses out of there in carts there were so many dead. 52 famous dead this weekend...I counted em. Even Mister Wright fell....something had to kill em, these Evan gangs sure couldnt. "

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