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warring with the EMPOROR
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for the love of god... dont put me on a list with Ser :rolleyes:
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Posted Jan 8, 2010, 11:26 am
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Bytten said:
FireFly said:
(For the record, I find spanky's posts quite relaxing to read  :rolleyes:)


Can you translate them for the rest of us?


Oh stewardess, I speak Spank!

darthspanky said:
'hey folks were here to cover the emporors first war report since the klingons came out of vacation mode everyones excited to see whats gunna happen and whose gunna get smoked' says the interviewer


The fine gentleman wishes to inform the residents of Evan that he has returned from vacation and is confident that there will be much interest in a disclosure of who he believes his friends and enemies to be.

darthspanky said:
' first id like to welcome all the nice texan oil men who came well be giving you some edunication later, we have multiple fronts going on at the same time so ill take them 1 by 1,


He has more than a passing interest in the newly profitable transportation lanes and believes there to be a viable business model in controlling the flow of traffic along them.

darthspanky said:
1 our efforts to aquire a elm camp seem to be going well 2 punks from the rules council want to sell to each other but we made em an offer they cant refuse B)


However, his first order of business is to acquire a camp in the Elmsfield region in order to establish a base of operations for this new business venture.  He has made a bid for such a camp, and believes it to be a competitive one.

darthspanky said:
2 longo gave us some grief by not selling us the rgm we let em wash for us untill we sent em some cookies, so reports of there demise are just rumors, there still loyal pirate friends. i think. :thinking:


One gentleman in particular was tasked with holding onto some valuable item for him in his absence.  Upon his return, there was some minor misunderstanding about the terms of their arrangement, but an acceptable compromise was reached. He does not attribute the misunderstanding to malice at this time, but remains wary.

darthspanky said:
3 jds bashes were also washing our legendary apache while we were in vacation mode, we contacted them and they said 2 mil to get car back, so say yer goodbeyes to them cause they will definatly be iniahlatede and we will get our car back, :mad: messages left for doc have remained unanswred so we will wack him when we see him as well.


A second individual also was charged with the safekeeping of an item of value. He believes that this individual was not acting in good faith and an acceptable compromise could not be reached. He fears that his only recourse is to retaliate in some fashion.

darthspanky said:
4 i know you all wanted to see huge g rection strip at the fpk event we had planned for selling a rgm to goat, but like a commie they cant be trusted, so watch for reports of there demise as well.


He was looking forward to providing supporting entertainment at an upcoming sporting event, but feels that due to some deep rooted differences in socioeconomic philosophy between himself and the event's sponsors, the proposed entertainment is now in jeopardy.

darthspanky said:
that is all for now' says the emporor


He has nothing else to report at this time, but he does sincerely hope that this update has provided you with the information you were anticipating.

Following up to some replies, the original messenger has more to add:

darthspanky said:
just cause ya sell it doesnt mean yer not a dead man walking. i will hunt and grieve jd and any noobs he takes out scouting in his role as a marshal outside of ss, i wont have to worry about pvp in retaliation from jd cause hes too chicken#### to put down his marshal badge and try to pvp me. whoever buys the car can pretty much kiss yer ass goodbye as well, i tested jds loyalty like i tested goats and longos, longo passed by giving me back a rgm he could have kept, so he is a loyal friend, goat will be attacked the same way i will go after jd cause he failed the test as well, and jd i dont want to hear you wine like a little bitch after i grieve your punk ass, careful on yer reply jd lol you dont want to loose yer precious marshalls badge...

waits for it.. this next rambling by jd shpuld be pretty funny but he made his own bed now its time to sleep in it sweetdreams jd wre out there muhahahahahaha. thank you you gave me what i wanted most. B) a reason to grieve you.


Since acceptable terms could not be reached with either the upcoming sporting event's sponsors or the holders of certain valuables he deems rightfully his, the fine gentleman would like it to be known that these people are not acting in good faith. He feels that they may be leveraging a position of respect and authority within the community to gain certain favors and advantages in contract negotiations.  He feels that he has not only the ability, but the moral obligation to rectify this situation himself for the good of the community, and expresses a sense of pride in the ability to show himself a paramour and champion of justice in this situation.

darthspanky said:
m not a griever, im not here to come back and play to grieve noobs, i may tease em, i dont kill for sport like shark did. i kill for a reason, im not here to make you upset with the comments i make to players who i feel grieved me, so ill try to tone down what i say in forums, but i will in this situation its how i fight back, you wouldnt like it if you thought yer friend stole yer car and then sold it to a noob, after reading his insulting pms. good to see ya back and sorry it upset ya but i hope ya see it from my point of view.


The fine gentleman ensures the community that although he has made statements in the past that might be misinterpreted and show him acting in bad faith himself, he has only made these statements in jest.  He asks that the community look at his record of actions and see him for the upstanding citizen he is.  He feels he is fully justified in his grievance and sincerely wishes that careful consideration be given to it, now that it has been aired in a public forum, before passing judgment.

darthspanky said:
im not mad ya stole my car, if i was pissed and cursing you as a marshal should have asked i calm down after my first pm. what im pissed about is not the car as you remember i also gave ya a eaton and a rare skinned lorry, i had no intention of asking you to return lorry or eaton, but yer pm is what pissed me off. ida gladly rpd this but yer the one who made it personal. now you and anyone who buys that car will have to deal with me getting personal so ill cya out there jd B)

once again jds wrong ask latte if he felt cheated when i left? latte got even put over 20 bh hits on me, and i gave him a deal on a legendary rgm buzzer he seemed ok with it and war was over between us. and if yer wondering would i do it to latte again the answer is no i learned not to do that.

why any group of marshals would want someone acting like you did, kinda spoils the image of marshal for the rest of the good ones, sound familar?


The gentleman wishes to express that he is not so much angered by the fact that the terms of his original agreement were not upheld, but by a perceived trend of increased abuse of authority and the threat to the communal standards of character that such abuse brings. He feels that conspirators and enablers of this corrupt system must be resisted, even through force if necessary, for the good of society in general. He cites examples of the contrast between aggressive business tactics, and outright abuse of power and pleads with those in positions of authority but not involved in these current, repugnant activities to refrain from joining in such corrupt practices and see them as morally reprehensible.

darthspanky said:
we emporors drunk and up to it again this time hes pissed at goat for caving in krazys head in a supposedly friendly squad challenge, but out of fear as usual the cowardly goatboy shoots his cr on my breeched to till hes out of ammo.

so heres my kill list
1 goat
2 jd
3 sere

jeezl was on the list for a short time but off now but time will tell

rules council and sam as always are barly not makin the list we will add more as time goes on


Finally, a direct threat is made against his perceived demagogues, attributed to continued examples of malfeasance, and a liberal consumption of spirits.  He warns that others, even those occupying the highest echelons of this society, may be drawn into this conflict if they do not actively resist the corruption and stand with him as shepherds of justice.
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vet wv pvp3

Posted Jan 9, 2010, 12:50 am Last edited Jan 9, 2010, 12:52 am by procyon112
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man hes good lets see ifin he c,ould, goaon and figuure.ythe est. of this story now see howsin he be doing at it. thenm be s grunta bees licking sombed grass till thessewillbede bleeding poutrs thses buttock .as emporor passes out in a drunken state
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vet paintball wv1,0,1

Posted Jan 9, 2010, 1:14 am Last edited Jan 9, 2010, 1:35 am by darthspanky
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darthspanky said:
man hes good lets see ifin he c,ould, goaon and figuure.ythe est. of this story now see howsin he be doing at it.  thenm be s grunta bees licking sombed grass till thessewillbede bleeding poutrs thses buttock


I think darth may be the only human being on the planet who speaks English but types in Bulgarian.
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vet wv pvp40,1,0

Posted Jan 9, 2010, 1:28 am
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He speaks english? That's news to me.
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Posted Jan 9, 2010, 1:51 am
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as he murmers in his drunken sleeping state the interpreter here this

telbs hets toos gooinand just fartsb itv crout ants grits ta dern traets thints tine ors wetlt estsyet paint the evin iffle tower pink yeeesss wetts goobies drat muhahahaha

as shock hits the interpreters face
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Posted Jan 9, 2010, 2:10 am
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Is this Emperor under the influence of... maybe a few hundred bottles of alcohol?
:cyclops:
.........................
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Posted Jan 9, 2010, 2:15 am
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Burden said:
Is this Emperor under the influence of...  maybe a few hundred bottles of alcohol?
:cyclops:


When intoxication reaches this level, it is more true to say that the alcohol is under the influence of an Emperor.
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vet wv

Posted Jan 9, 2010, 11:04 am
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procyon112 said:
Oh stewardess, I speak Spank!


Now this made me laugh - yes, I'm old enough to get the reference, but then the rest made me laugh harder. VERY nice job there Mrs. Cleaver... :)
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Posted Jan 9, 2010, 2:53 pm
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procyon112 said:
Bytten said:
FireFly said:
(For the record, I find spanky's posts quite relaxing to read  :rolleyes:)


Can you translate them for the rest of us?


Oh stewardess, I speak Spank!

darthspanky said:
'hey folks were here to cover the emporors first war report since the klingons came out of vacation mode everyones excited to see whats gunna happen and whose gunna get smoked' says the interviewer


The fine gentleman wishes to inform the residents of Evan that he has returned from vacation and is confident that there will be much interest in a disclosure of who he believes his friends and enemies to be.

darthspanky said:
' first id like to welcome all the nice texan oil men who came well be giving you some edunication later, we have multiple fronts going on at the same time so ill take them 1 by 1,


He has more than a passing interest in the newly profitable transportation lanes and believes there to be a viable business model in controlling the flow of traffic along them.

darthspanky said:
1 our efforts to aquire a elm camp seem to be going well 2 punks from the rules council want to sell to each other but we made em an offer they cant refuse B)


However, his first order of business is to acquire a camp in the Elmsfield region in order to establish a base of operations for this new business venture.  He has made a bid for such a camp, and believes it to be a competitive one.

darthspanky said:
2 longo gave us some grief by not selling us the rgm we let em wash for us untill we sent em some cookies, so reports of there demise are just rumors, there still loyal pirate friends. i think. :thinking:


One gentleman in particular was tasked with holding onto some valuable item for him in his absence.  Upon his return, there was some minor misunderstanding about the terms of their arrangement, but an acceptable compromise was reached. He does not attribute the misunderstanding to malice at this time, but remains wary.

darthspanky said:
3 jds bashes were also washing our legendary apache while we were in vacation mode, we contacted them and they said 2 mil to get car back, so say yer goodbeyes to them cause they will definatly be iniahlatede and we will get our car back, :mad: messages left for doc have remained unanswred so we will wack him when we see him as well.


A second individual also was charged with the safekeeping of an item of value. He believes that this individual was not acting in good faith and an acceptable compromise could not be reached. He fears that his only recourse is to retaliate in some fashion.

darthspanky said:
4 i know you all wanted to see huge g rection strip at the fpk event we had planned for selling a rgm to goat, but like a commie they cant be trusted, so watch for reports of there demise as well.


He was looking forward to providing supporting entertainment at an upcoming sporting event, but feels that due to some deep rooted differences in socioeconomic philosophy between himself and the event's sponsors, the proposed entertainment is now in jeopardy.

darthspanky said:
that is all for now' says the emporor


He has nothing else to report at this time, but he does sincerely hope that this update has provided you with the information you were anticipating.

Following up to some replies, the original messenger has more to add:

darthspanky said:
just cause ya sell it doesnt mean yer not a dead man walking. i will hunt and grieve jd and any noobs he takes out scouting in his role as a marshal outside of ss, i wont have to worry about pvp in retaliation from jd cause hes too chicken#### to put down his marshal badge and try to pvp me. whoever buys the car can pretty much kiss yer ass goodbye as well, i tested jds loyalty like i tested goats and longos, longo passed by giving me back a rgm he could have kept, so he is a loyal friend, goat will be attacked the same way i will go after jd cause he failed the test as well, and jd i dont want to hear you wine like a little bitch after i grieve your punk ass, careful on yer reply jd lol you dont want to loose yer precious marshalls badge...

waits for it.. this next rambling by jd shpuld be pretty funny but he made his own bed now its time to sleep in it sweetdreams jd wre out there muhahahahahaha. thank you you gave me what i wanted most. B) a reason to grieve you.


Since acceptable terms could not be reached with either the upcoming sporting event's sponsors or the holders of certain valuables he deems rightfully his, the fine gentleman would like it to be known that these people are not acting in good faith. He feels that they may be leveraging a position of respect and authority within the community to gain certain favors and advantages in contract negotiations.  He feels that he has not only the ability, but the moral obligation to rectify this situation himself for the good of the community, and expresses a sense of pride in the ability to show himself a paramour and champion of justice in this situation.

darthspanky said:
m not a griever, im not here to come back and play to grieve noobs, i may tease em, i dont kill for sport like shark did. i kill for a reason, im not here to make you upset with the comments i make to players who i feel grieved me, so ill try to tone down what i say in forums, but i will in this situation its how i fight back, you wouldnt like it if you thought yer friend stole yer car and then sold it to a noob, after reading his insulting pms. good to see ya back and sorry it upset ya but i hope ya see it from my point of view.


The fine gentleman ensures the community that although he has made statements in the past that might be misinterpreted and show him acting in bad faith himself, he has only made these statements in jest.  He asks that the community look at his record of actions and see him for the upstanding citizen he is.  He feels he is fully justified in his grievance and sincerely wishes that careful consideration be given to it, now that it has been aired in a public forum, before passing judgment.

darthspanky said:
im not mad ya stole my car, if i was pissed and cursing you as a marshal should have asked i calm down after my first pm. what im pissed about is not the car as you remember i also gave ya a eaton and a rare skinned lorry, i had no intention of asking you to return lorry or eaton, but yer pm is what pissed me off. ida gladly rpd this but yer the one who made it personal. now you and anyone who buys that car will have to deal with me getting personal so ill cya out there jd B)

once again jds wrong ask latte if he felt cheated when i left? latte got even put over 20 bh hits on me, and i gave him a deal on a legendary rgm buzzer he seemed ok with it and war was over between us. and if yer wondering would i do it to latte again the answer is no i learned not to do that.

why any group of marshals would want someone acting like you did, kinda spoils the image of marshal for the rest of the good ones, sound familar?


The gentleman wishes to express that he is not so much angered by the fact that the terms of his original agreement were not upheld, but by a perceived trend of increased abuse of authority and the threat to the communal standards of character that such abuse brings. He feels that conspirators and enablers of this corrupt system must be resisted, even through force if necessary, for the good of society in general. He cites examples of the contrast between aggressive business tactics, and outright abuse of power and pleads with those in positions of authority but not involved in these current, repugnant activities to refrain from joining in such corrupt practices and see them as morally reprehensible.

darthspanky said:
we emporors drunk and up to it again this time hes pissed at goat for caving in krazys head in a supposedly friendly squad challenge, but out of fear as usual the cowardly goatboy shoots his cr on my breeched to till hes out of ammo.

so heres my kill list
1 goat
2 jd
3 sere

jeezl was on the list for a short time but off now but time will tell

rules council and sam as always are barly not makin the list we will add more as time goes on


Finally, a direct threat is made against his perceived demagogues, attributed to continued examples of malfeasance, and a liberal consumption of spirits.  He warns that others, even those occupying the highest echelons of this society, may be drawn into this conflict if they do not actively resist the corruption and stand with him as shepherds of justice.


This... is actually the funniest thing I have read in a long time*, good job procyon.


(*Well, certainly for several hours anyway. My brother sent me this research paper this morning, so it's been a good day for laughs so far...)  Choice quote:  "It is important that hamsters are given a choice to play the game"...
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marshal vet deathrce1 paintladder combat1 wv ped1 cont slay2013

Posted Jan 9, 2010, 5:18 pm Last edited Jan 9, 2010, 5:19 pm by *sam*
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Toooo Funny!
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Posted Jan 9, 2010, 9:58 pm
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If i ever need another lawyer i know who to call B)
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Posted Jan 9, 2010, 10:13 pm
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meanwhile the emporor is softy sleeping. mindbender his new recruit prepairs for his bedbath she picks up on a dream about running for rc hes having goes like this since shes our first gal with pys skill

alright listen up all of yas, yer grunta start yer voting soon so what ya gunna do.

the crowd of milliona in unison say "we will give you our votes of lord emporor george bush of the greatest klingon gang who ever killed traders in evam muhahahaha"

good but there are a few who need to be dwelt withd, they think they can cast a free vote for who they want, remember they die first.

our lawyers say a pvp encounter registered vote does count if they sign before they get killt, and new rules go into effect now that theres so much commotion over the voting its only right i declare msarshal law in evan lawer says its legal, i will run the rc by myself muhahahaha

heres our agenda
1 death to noobs.
2 more death to noobs.
3 death to those who arnt noobs techinacally but kinda suck like a noob.
4 you thought i was gunna say death to noobs lol nope should be dead by now heres fun part, give me yer money and since im only one on rc ill tell sam what to do i can give yer ideas to sam if ya win that weeks bid?


as the emporor slowly starts to wake he sees his student and eagerly awaits his bedbath
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vet paintball wv1,0,1

Posted Jan 13, 2010, 10:20 am Last edited Jan 13, 2010, 10:28 am by darthspanky
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ahahaha too funny not to repost, good thing i changed and am innothent now, halo angle face O:)
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Posted May 8, 2021, 8:58 pm
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this is a very funny read
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Posted May 9, 2021, 12:28 am
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