Image by Lord Foul

Cherie Braddock of The 4saken died at The Maze.

`Jay` Josefina Scully of Attitude Adjusters died at Somerset Arena.

Carlos Dement of the mad mad crushers died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

Mary Marble of the mad mad crushers died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

Joseph Hill of the mad mad crushers died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

Melissa Mitzel of Coolerheads died at Road to Somerset.

Brook `Fondler` Lawrence of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Sandy.

Paul Berg of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Sandy.

Joseph Hopper of SOTuk died at Gates of Firelight.

Henry Brooks of SOTuk died at Gates of Firelight.

Chris Emery of Lords Of Steel died at Sandy.

Isidro `Big Daddy` Dean of Lords Of Steel died at Sandy.

`Big Guns` Willie Delcastillo of Rezeaks Racers died at Lonesome Highway.

Jacob Smith of Razors Roughnecks died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Kevin Turner of MADHAT died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Elvira Mullins of Legion of Legends died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

James Kenyon of rebelfishes died at Gates of Elmsfield.

John Singletary of rebelfishes died at Gates of Elmsfield.

Verena Torres of Violet Menace died at Lost Oasis.

Aaron `Bird` Hawkins of Dementia died at Blown With the Wind.

Holly Hunter of Meat-Popsicles died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Bruce Hanna of MADHAT died at Canyon Joust.

Melinda Gause of rebelfishes died at Pathway to Darkness.

William `WOWZA` Gardner of Mirrirored Pain died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

Hazel `Tail Gunner` Blanton of rebelfishes died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

Frank Cooper of Load Runners died at Gateway Interstate Arena.

`Sir` Mack Murphy of Lattes Raiders died at Gateway Dry Lake Track.

Stephen `Peace Palace` Haag of Special Circumstances died at Scattered Hills.

Peter `Clive` Cook of Special Circumstances died at Scattered Hills.

`Hoping` Clifford Wake of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Firelight.

Tommy Gann of headXplode died at Once Upon a Town.

Ned `Winterfell` Stark of Lords Of Steel died at Once Upon a Town.

Clinton Courter of rebelfishes died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

Zachary Brown of Collision Force died at Road to Somerset.

Carl Baxter of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Gateway Interstate Arena.

Debbie `Stamina` Wolfe of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Road to Elmsfield.

`Gunny` James Williams of Comanche died at Blown With the Wind.

`Doc` Paul Litton of Comanche died at Lost Oasis.

David Knight of Comanche died at Lost Oasis.

Robert Brown of Triumph died at Lost Oasis.

Hugo Balls of Triumph died at Lost Oasis.

James Lombardo of The Dionysian Dozen died at Gates of Somerset.

Ann Greenfield of The 4saken died at The Pits.

Taylor `El` Castile of The 4saken died at The Pits.

Dave `Dakka-Dakka` Erickson of Monarchs died at Gates of Somerset.

Gerald Smalls of Zeerius died at Double Down Arena.

Gary Dixon of thebills died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).

Iva Keeton of Meat-Popsicles died at Gates of Elmsfield.

Lulu Stewart of Comanche died at Blown With the Wind.

`Eager` Nicki Whittier of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Gates of Somerset.

Ryan Vega of The Good Guys died at Blown With the Wind.

Don Moorman of Mirrirored Pain died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Bernice `hawk eye` Lowe of thebills died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Jason McEwen of Zeerius died at Somerset Arena.

Samuel Stewart of Fifth Legion died at Northern Farm Land.

Dale Gardner of Fifth Legion died at Northern Farm Land.

`Gunny` Sonia White of Fifth Legion died at Northern Farm Land.

Edward `Foul Breath` French of Drive Backwards BFFs died at Burning Skies.

David Wells of Canis Lupus died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.

Lena `The Lush` Bowman of CryptKeepers died at Sandy.

Damien Delavega of Fast and Deadly died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

`Luci` Lu Fuchs of The 4saken died at Road to Elmsfield.

`Deacon` Leland Smithey of Sons of Loathing died at Blown With the Wind.

Joan Mutchler of Eightball Shiftknobs died at Northern Desert Circuit.

Leilani `Cheeks` Boyle of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Northern Farm Land.

Trevor Trexler of Triumph died at Northern Farm Land.

Vonda Lucey of The Cosmic Kids died at The Pit.

Carmen Hardy of CryptKeepers died at Road to Somerset.

Loretta Hasan of Load Runners died at Northern Farm Land.

Debra Valentine of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Northern Farm Land.

Sarah `Senorita` Reyes of CryptKeepers died at Northern Farm Land.

Jose Rosario of Triumph died at Sandy.

Gregory Jaimes of The Ghosts died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

Eddie Morgenstern of Violet Menace died at Road to Somerset.

Edith `Athena` Arnold of Seekers died at Northern Farm Land.

Danny Jacobs of Kamels died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

William Jefferies of Burdens Heavyweights died at Road to Elmsfield.

`Wait, what?` Tina Dizon of Burdens Heavyweights died at Road to Elmsfield.

Eunice `Deathdealer` Deal of CryptKeepers died at Road to Elmsfield.

Buffy `Sidewinder` Snyder of Old School Perverts died at Highway to Hell.

Ray `Taking Over` Moreland of Old School Perverts died at Highway to Hell.

Jorge `Packin Heat` Stanley of Old School Perverts died at Highway to Hell.

`The Average` Guy Roberts of Old School Perverts died at Highway to Hell.

`Plastic` Amber Truesdale of Road Debris died at Highway to Hell.

`Spruce Goose` Robert Hugh of Road Debris died at Highway to Hell.

Michael Leahy of Knights That Say Ni died at Road to Elmsfield.

Seth Brady of Cats Laughing died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

`Dirty` Danny Chaney of Longos Merry Men died at Shantyville.

Ryan `Ein` Stein of Rezeaks Racers died at Scattered Grounds.

Betty Hagy of River City Gamblers died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Jackie Bland of River City Gamblers died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Ryan Blessing of Guidos Hitmen died at Road to Somerset.

Steve McQueen of Renshai died at Road to Elmsfield.

David `Sharpshooter` Jackson of High Octane Hooligans died at Lost Trail: Dead River.

John `Toeless Vango` Hernandez of High Octane Hooligans died at Lost Trail: Dead River.

Scott Link of Lords Of Steel died at Gates of Somerset.

Betty Orta of Cats Laughing died at Northern Desert Circuit.

Matthew Caines of Triumph died at Gates of Somerset.

Kurt Russell of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Charles Bryson of Violet Menace died at Northern Farm Land.

Stanford McLeroy of The 4saken died at Lost Trail: Broken Ground.

Jacinto Ortega of Carne Muerta died at Road to Somerset.

Windy `Summer` Days of Sons of Loathing died at Lost Oasis.

Halley Berry of Meat-Popsicles died at The Pit.

Boris Carlock of Arbiters died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

Robert Carson of ZomBPir8Ninjas died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

Wayne Murray of ZomBPir8Ninjas died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

`Beaver` Brooke Staton of Special Circumstances died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

Myrna Cyr of Knights That Say Ni died at Once Upon a Town.

Alonzo `Racer Z` McArdle of Guns Gears Getaway died at Double Down Arena.

Joshua Ball of Kamels died at Northern Farm Land.

Yvette Perez of River City Gamblers died at Road to Somerset.

Bonnie `Death Monkey` Martineau of River City Gamblers died at Road to Somerset.

Jerome Roman of Meat-Popsicles died at Road to Somerset.

`Rolling` Richard Roldan of Whiskey Runners died at Gates of Texan.

David Anderson of thebills died at Blown With the Wind.

Martha Rolston of SOTuk died at Serpentine Road.

`Rapidfire` Rose Ostrander of Canis Lupus died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Justin Casey of Triple S died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Wayne Pulliam of Big C Rollers died at Once Upon a Town.

John Heiss of Triumph died at Road to Somerset.

Christopher `Pretty Boy` Gahagan of Meat-Popsicles died at Once Upon a Town.

Steve `Groove Tube` Rother of Produce_Vendors died at Gates of Somerset.

`Candy Man` Christopher Gonzalez of Produce_Vendors died at Gates of Somerset.

Max Speed of Triumph died at Somerset Arena.

Charles Henry of Cats Laughing died at Lost Oasis.

Helen Argo of Knights That Say Ni died at Lost Oasis.

Eva Garcia of Knights That Say Ni died at Lost Oasis.

Elizabeth Arnold of Slimas Slayers died at Road to Elmsfield.

Jerry Walters of BD And Sons died at Shantyville.

Paul Kao of Lords Of Steel died at Highway to Hell.

Geraldine Matias of ZomBPir8Ninjas died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

`CTU Agent` Jack Bauer of Alpha Junkers died at Road to Somerset.

Robert Green of Guidos Hitmen died at Lost Oasis.

`Gunny` Jose O`Connell of Comanche died at Road to Somerset.

Johnson Williamson of Comanche died at Road to Somerset.

Margaret Garcia of Comanche died at Road to Somerset.

`Bomber` Kimberly Evans of Comanche died at Road to Somerset.

Richard Christofferso of Attitude Adjusters died at Road to Somerset.

Marvin `Speed` Thrasher of Afrika Korps died at Lonesome Highway.

`Rally Legend` Collin McRae of Highway Hellriders died at Gateway Interstate Figure 8.

Christina Peterson of Lords Of Steel died at Gates of Somerset.

Gilberto Grady of Lords Of Steel died at Gates of Somerset.

Allen Spurrier of Gene Pool died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Gladys Carreras of Triple S died at Lonesome Highway.

Betty Snyder of Triple S died at Lonesome Highway.

`Sir` Brian Grieco of Lattes Raiders died at Forever Yellow Skies.

Kathleen Wilson of Triumph died at Lost Oasis.

Micheal `Mick` Herold of 88 MPH died at Interstate Mythos.

Teresa Santiago of Cats Laughing died at Gates of Somerset.

Eric Olson of The 4saken died at Lost Oasis.

Dina `Bow wow` Bowser of SOTuk died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Jeffrey Welton of Attitude Adjusters died at Northern Farm Land.

`The Strong` Janet Kohn of Zeerius died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

John Anderson of ZomBPir8Ninjas died at Scattered Grounds.

Carolyn Newberg of ZomBPir8Ninjas died at Scattered Grounds.

Kayla Ford of dark impakt died at Gates of Somerset.

Gabriel Arias of Triple S died at Gates of Somerset.

Chester Lehman of thebills died at Blown With the Wind.

`Ogre` William Hendrix of Go-Gos Big 12 died at Highway to Hell.

Joshua Brewer of Paladins died at Highway to Hell.

Zelda Xavier of Rampaging Sockmonkeys died at Road to Somerset.

Bryan `Grease Monkey` Gibbens of High Octane Hooligans died at Once Upon a Town.

Edwin Fonseca of Izzys Irregulars died at Northern Farm Land.

Kevin Shin of shadowguard died at Road to Somerset.

Analisa Juarez of Carne Muerta died at Road to Somerset.

Jason Rusk of Garage Boyz died at Northern Farm Land.

Lowell `George` Christiansen of BD And Sons died at Pathway to Darkness.

Edward Snyder of the mad mad crushers died at Highway to Hell.

Leroy Jeffrey of the mad mad crushers died at Highway to Hell.

Dick Hill of the mad mad crushers died at Highway to Hell.

Whitney Ziegler of the mad mad crushers died at Highway to Hell.

This list shows just who has been winning the most lucrative prizes on the circuits and arenas of Evan, during the past month.

1. Road Lords: $795786.
2. v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s.: $785496.
3. The Panthers: $650966.
4. Drive Backwards BFFs: $620940.
5. Bladerunners: $445000.

The major leagues are nearly concluded, and with the title races hotting up, here are the current favourites:

Evan Race Ladder - Mirrirored Pain
Evan Deathrace Ladder - The Frequency
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - Highway Hellriders
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Lattes Raiders

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Somerset Combat League - Joels Bastards
Gateway Pedestrian Combat League - Joels Bastards

Submitted by JS

Knox Thurston thought a lot of himself most of the time. He tried way too hard to dress well, spent inordinate amounts of time primping before going out, and generally expended a lot of his life worrying about how he looked. Knox had a loping saunter that he consciously affected, he called it his strut, his sister called it `The Rooster. Truth be told he practiced in mirrors, shiny metal, rear view mirrors, you name it. He looked at himself a lot. He also thought the ladies looked at him a lot. They didn`t. He was tall and wide shouldered, and while one could not call him ugly, he was a bit too thin in the face. Knox also carried the `Roman Nose` as his Pop put it. Which is to say it was large and hooked, and entirely out of place on his thin face.

It remained a constant mystery as to why he decided he was a gift to the female condition in the world. But Knox Thurston marched to his own drum beat. And that drum was made of sheet metal, with a machine gun attached to it. Knox`s dad, `Guido` Thurston, had been a bit of a legend down south. Known as a skilled driver and even better mechanic, he had bestowed those two loves on his children.
Doreen got the driving and leadership, the younger Knox got the wrench turner gene.

Where he got the false lady killer instinct was anyone`s guess. But he was a good mechanic. In fact, he was something of a savant. By age 15 he had eclipsed his old man by a long way and was the chief mechanic for his Pop`s small `gang` in the south. Although Mr. Thurston would correct anyone who called it a mere gang. It was his `family`, or sometimes `famiglia`. He would reply to anyone uncouth enough to call it a gang.

Known for rounding up the strangest group of strays and drifters, Guido had a knack for picking talent and was fiercely loyal. A trait that was returned to the three Thurston`s by the rest of the `family`. Knox had that trait as well, and his loyalty was `All In`, as the card sharks say, in support of his sister, the new famiglia leader.

Knox pushed himself out from under the wreck of a car Bobby Green had just driven back to the town yesterday. It was a bleedin disaster, literally and figuratively. He had made Bobby, or Robert as he liked to be called, although none ever did as he just looked like a Bobby, clean up the mess. It was an unpleasant fact of the brave new world that looted cars often came with both loot and body pieces and fluids. Someone had to clean it.
The Famiglia`s rule was, `the one who made the kill shot and claimed the trophy cleaned it`.
Knox never touched them until they were relatively clean. He always found goo in the damndest places anyway while refitting them, but for the most part he avoided that part of the business like the plague. The goo gave him the heebie jeebies, blood made him squirm. He tried not to ponder his profession choice and that fact, he couldn`t square them in his psyche so he ignored it as best as possible.

Getting off the floor he carefully cleaned and put away the tools he was using. Meticulously clean himself, his small shop area reflected that tidiness. It was still dusty and grimy as the gang had a garage shelter-ish setup. Not enough money for a proper place like down south.

Knox gazed at the two medium sized tool boxes and frowned. That was it, all that was left of what had been an impressive collection of old world tools his dad had owned. Actually, it was an emergency stash the old man had squirreled away and only told Dory about. She had managed to get it shipped, and not stolen of a wonder, here up north from down south. Pop must have had an inkling that something might go pear shaped, and so had prepared. Knox thanked his spirit daily for that, and for the small nest egg of money they had found, and spent, to get them out of the pickle they found themselves in after has dad`s death

Spinning away from the tools and walking toward the tent flap he spoke to himself out loud, while snapping his fingers and making his `a-ha` face.
`I gotta get these hands clean and go tell Zito to see the boss, and then on to lovely what`s her name`.

He had already quite forgotten what`s her names name.
His sister had told him to send Zito hours ago but it had completely slipped his scattered mind. He`d chatted up the lovely shop girl over at Jake`s for a while and she`d agreed to go out with him, all the way over to Dexter`s, later tonight. He was quite pleased with himself for that, and had celebrated by working on his nitro boost system on his new 4L Sunrise Big Sis had given him. Now if he could only get the nitro. Stuff was scarce as the hairs on his Pop`s head.

It was a quick walk to the living space they rented near the town wall. It was more dangerous near the wall, what with all the pirates and such, but it was cheaper and they helped defend that portion if need be for the discount from the land lord and city powers that be.
Knox pushed the door open absently and sauntered in, as if young what`s her name might be watching. He really needed to find out her name before he picked her up, or soon after. Too bad his 4L wasn`t ready. Not that they could go far without getting shot at. He`d been dying to try the `I ran out of fuel` trick Zito had told him. While he thought of sawed off Zito and his bad attitude and smarmy plans he nearly ran into him as he entered the small kitchen.

`Look out space cadet`. The snarly little troll said. Knox called him a snarly little troll, in his mind of course.

The man was insane. He ate dogs.

`Sorry Zito, I was just wondering what Dory was going to do to you for eating Cynth`s dog`. Knox might be afraid of him, but he could not help sassing off sometimes.
`Huh? Why would she do that?` Snarly troll actually sounded worried.
Knox pressed it. `Because you should not eat one of your family`s pets, that`s why`.
Zito looked levelly at Knox, it was a not an unfriendly glare, but a considering one. Wonders never cease thought Knox. Zito put down the dish towel and the plate he was cleaning absentmindedly then looked at the frying pan and the rest of the meal he was cleaning. Knox realized it was likely the mess from the dog Bar B Que. `Gross` he thought, `Glad I didn`t actually come straight back here`. Zito cleared his throat.

`Yes, well, I hadn`t considered that`. Zito said... He made a huffing sound
`I dunno, maybe that`s a valid point`. Zito leaned back against the shelves and crossed his stumpy arms. Knox realized everything about him was stumpy, including his stunted and stumpy emotions.
`You and your sister make people think about these things don`t you? Is that some kind of mutation or something`? Knox had never considered that, it was of course preposterous.
`Are you people digging around in my damn skull or something`?
Knox let him continue, maybe the man was about to make a breakthrough in his glacially thick emotional state. But he stopped talking and started walking away.
Knox talked to his back.
`Where are you going..... to see Dory? Because she told me to tell you she wanted to see you`. He needed confirmation, because Big Sis would already be pissed, and at least he could truthfully tell her Zito was on the way if they missed each other. It had been hours so no telling where she was, and he had nearly forgotten again to boot. Come to think if it, he thanked his lucky stars she had not already found old stumpy arms before he did. Sometimes it was better to be lucky than good.
`Eventually`. The little man said as he pushed open the door, paused and looked back. `But I have to go find another princess for the kingdom`. Knox laughed out loud. Princess was the dogs name, the late great departed royalty of Bar B Que fame, or infamy he supposed.
`Yeah, that might not be a bad idea, Cynth may forgive you in a thousand years if you do that, or maybe she won`t curse your soul for all eternity`.
Zito grimaced, then put his hand on his stomach. `First though, I have to find the throne room, it appears the last princess is not done annoying me quite yet`.

Knox was wiping tears from his laughing eyes for at least fifteen minutes.