Mar/Apr
2053
Joels Bastards Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League finished, with Joels Bastards taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were Lattes Raiders, and finishing in third place overall were Lords Of Steel.

Cap distributor Win Somerset Race League

The Somerset Race League finished, with Cap distributor taking the overall victory and a prize of $120000. The runners-up were -^-HellRazors-^-, and finishing in third place overall were Vault Dwellers.

Joels Bastards Win Somerset Winter Warmup League

The Somerset Winter Warmup League finished, with Joels Bastards taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Holy Mutant Death Squad , and finishing in third place overall were Zen Psychotics.

The World of Evan According to Basher:


 
Gates Of Shantyville.

Our reporter JD Basher is taking a little break so we have a local camp owner Firefly of the Highway Hellriders, with his description of the lawless shanty town

Shantyville: Goldmine, Hell hole; both are accurate descriptions. With hill-covered terrain and a winding, bumpy road, being ill-prepared is not an option here. Running traders requires escorts. Speed is not a big vehicle`s friend here. Scouting out ahead of your squad is essential: being able to find the off-road paths can be the difference between success and having to recruit.

Image by Grograt

Veterans will tell you it`s heavy ordnance territory and one of the rare places in the South OR tyres are a good choice. Solo travels are best done in stable, fast vehicles that can climb when necessary and put the pedal down when the road opens up.


Janice Marshall of Something else died at Gates of Sarsfield.


`The Duke` Daniel Ross of Seekers died at Serpentine Road.


Jacob `Snow` White of Highway Hellriders died at Gates of Somerset.


Gerald England of Pale Riders died at Gates of Somerset.


Ramon Ramsey of Initial Drift died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Maria Boston of A-Takkers died at Northern Farm Land.


Luis Chambers of THERAPISTS died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


John Wheat of Meat-Popsicles died at Gates of Somerset.


Mayme Lindsay of Drive Backwards BFFs died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Robert Carey of A-Takkers died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


James Hunt of Quiksilver died at Northern Speedway.


David Baumann of Dumpys Rusty Nuts died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Joseph Beam of Riders of the Apocolypse died at Road to Somerset.


Heather Hale of Zen Psychotics died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Edwin `Too Cool` Brennan of A-Takkers died at Northern Farm Land.


Henry Granger of THERAPISTS died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Iona `The Wrench` Davis of an0maly died at Highway to Hell.


Jeffrey Wagner of Meat-Popsicles died at Highway to Hell.


Joesph Hunziker of Meat-Popsicles died at Highway to Hell.


Leonard `Sunder` Sunderman of Castle Crew died at Lost Oasis.


Thomas `Tommy J` Jensen of Castle Crew died at Lost Oasis.


Robert `Bobbo` Zink of Castle Crew died at Lost Oasis.


Scott `Bones` MacGregor of Seekers died at Gates of Somerset.


`Gunshy` Cherie Jacobs of Seekers died at Gates of Somerset.


Ricky Matz of Seekers died at Northern Farm Land.


Dale Sullivan of A-Takkers died at Northern Farm Land.


Diana Vinson of A-Takkers died at Once Upon a Town.


Samatha Devlin of an0maly died at Gates of Somerset.


Michael `Smoking Tyres` Medina of Old School Perverts died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Marylyn Monroe of Meat-Popsicles died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Margaret Smith of Devilz rejects died at Northern Farm Land.


Dave `Killer` Vess of Devilz rejects died at Northern Farm Land.


Michal `The Lion` Josephson of Comanche died at Road to Somerset.


James Rios of Triumph died at Road to Somerset.


`Pissed` Gilberto Wilkinson of BD And Sons died at Elmsfield Hills Rally Circuit.


Georgia Atkins of Coolerheads died at Scattered Grounds.


Jose Hunt of Dogpack died at Blown With the Wind.


Robert Beery of Dogpack died at Road to Somerset.


Bradford Taylor of Midville MONDOs died at Lost Oasis.


Curtis `Big-Bang` Rutz of Monarchs died at Northern Farm Land.


Paul Reasoner of Triple S died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Leroy `Andy` Garcia of Coolerheads died at Gates of Somerset.


Steve Biggs of BD And Sons died at Gates of Firelight.


Conrad Carstarphen of Something else died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Bobby `Ike` Turner of Triple S died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Tammy `Fast Girl` Ruggiero of -^-HellRazors-^- died at Gateway Dry Lake Track.


Von Stuber of Garage Boyz died at Gates of Somerset.


Scott Behan of Garage Boyz died at Gates of Somerset.


Irene Boulanger of The Dionysian Dozen died at Gates of Somerset.


`Pop` Earnest Smith of The Dionysian Dozen died at Gates of Somerset.


Dean Jones of The Dionysian Dozen died at Gates of Somerset.


`Sir` Francis Thayer of Lattes Raiders died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Neil `Phat Boy` McCleery of Lords Of Steel died at Double Down Arena.


Hattie Kline of MADHAT died at Blown With the Wind.


Joan Wooten of BD And Sons died at The Pits.


Jesse `Stroker` Hicks of rebelfishes died at Gates of Somerset.


Bobby `What`s a Map?` Glynn of rebelfishes died at Gates of Somerset.


Duncan `Marathon` Potts of Gutter Runners died at Gates of Somerset.


Shannon Puente of Zen Psychotics died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Edna Richardson of Killer Konvicts died at Road to Somerset.


Edith Woodcock of Midville MONDOs died at Double Down Arena.


`Sir` Sam Chapin of Lattes Raiders died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Ivan Murphy of Dogpack died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Sandra Eaves of Karters Crew died at Lost Trail: Broken Ground.


Nicholas Darling of shadowOfTheNight died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Ardath `The End` Crockett of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Charles `Da Stitcher` Brannen of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Shawn `Tito` Ortiz of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Michael `High Society` Harrington of *Main Force Patrol* died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Jeri Ryan of Triumph died at Scattered Grounds.


Sean Flynn of Triumph died at Scattered Grounds.


Kenneth Reed of THERAPISTS died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Richard `Run for Cover` Kelley of Old School Perverts died at Blown With the Wind.


James Rumph of Collision Force died at Road to Somerset.


Patrick Salcido of Attitude Adjusters died at Once Upon a Town.


Michael Calhoun of MADHAT died at Road to Somerset.


Leila Knight of Thrill Kill Kult died at Blown With the Wind.


Sam `Sammy` Neel of Desert Nomads died at Acid Land.


Arthur `Grinder` Miller of Desert Nomads died at Acid Land.


Aubrey `Rapid` Belew of Sock Monkey Killaz died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Adam `Slipstream` Dreyer of rebelfishes died at Northern Farm Land.


Arthur `Gunner` Lynch of rebelfishes died at Northern Farm Land.


Loretta `Titch` Little of Iron Wraiths died at Northern Farm Land.


Margaret Lewis of Iron Wraiths died at Northern Farm Land.


Malcolm `Sarge` Phillips of an0maly died at Northern Farm Land.


`Eagle Eye` Edgar Smith of an0maly died at Once Upon a Town.


Alecia Ignacio of Carbon Thieves died at Scattered Grounds.


Joanne `the dog` Tomlin of thebills died at Sandy.


Dewey Sparks of Reds Ryders died at Somerset Arena.


Kirk `Metallica` Hammett of Renegades Of Thrash Metal died at Road to Somerset.


Randall `Random` Findlay of Dramamine died at Northern Farm Land.


`Judge` Tara Wilkerson of Arbiters died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Travis Taylor of rebelfishes died at Serpentine Road.


Travis `Sharpshooter` Sohn of shadowOfTheNight died at Sandy.


`Sir` Curtis Sullivan of Rezeaks Racers died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Kristy Livingston of thebills died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Beth Lafountain of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Smokey Hills.


David Baker of Comanche died at Road to Elmsfield.


George McElroy of Psygang died at Road to Somerset.


`Engineer` Justin Nelson of Psygang died at Road to Somerset.


Micheal Vining of Garage Boyz died at Gates of Somerset.


Robert Halliday of THERAPISTS died at Pathway to Darkness.


Kenneth `Cobra` Rohrbaugh of Burnt Tree Security died at Acid Land.


Edward `Big Guns` Rios of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pits.


Bradley McCurry of Riders of the Apocolypse died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Donald `Bobby` Magee of Produce_Vendors died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Robert `Bobbo` Zink of Castle Crew died at Northern Farm Land.


Gail Vasquez of Castle Crew died at Northern Farm Land.


James Meraz of Triumph died at Road to Somerset.


James Skinner of Meat-Popsicles died at Road to Somerset.


Arturo Lombard of Meat-Popsicles died at Road to Somerset.


`Wiley` Horace Guillory of Guidos Hitmen died at Gates of Somerset.


Amanda Rowden of TV Babies died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Jay `SPARTACUS` Allen of Mirrored Pain died at The Pit.


Betty Graves of BD And Sons died at The Pits.


Kerrie `Snuggler` Gibson of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Scott Garza of the mad mad crushers died at The Pits.


Guadalupe Holcomb of Devilz Rejectz died at Double Down Arena.


`Mr.` Bobby Pederson of A-Takkers died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Ignacio Gambino of Dogpack died at Lost Oasis.


Timothy Phillips of the mad mad crushers died at The Maze.


Flora Barker of the mad mad crushers died at The Maze.


Nicholas Acevedo of Pooks Prangksters died at The Pits.


Rafael Smith of Karters Crew died at Lost Oasis.


`Peppermint` Patty Marshall of Old School Perverts died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Cori `Too Soft` Vasquez of Old School Perverts died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Antwan `Trigger Happy` Norton of Old School Perverts died at Gates of Elmsfield.


`Sparkles` Maude Fletcher of The Dionysian Dozen died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Mary Brown of shadowOfTheNight died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Brandon Roll of Carbon Thieves died at Blown With the Wind.


William Hadley of Carbon Thieves died at Blown With the Wind.


Nina Gray of Carbon Thieves died at Blown With the Wind.


Paula Hood of Carbon Thieves died at Lost Oasis.


Chad Carlson of Something else died at Northern Farm Land.


Royal `Navy` Watkins of shadowOfTheNight died at Gates of Somerset.


`The Dragon` Bruce Lee of Renshai died at Highway to Hell.


Johnny `Chick-O-Stick` Stokes of Produce_Vendors died at Northern Farm Land.


Imelda Robinson of Produce_Vendors died at Northern Farm Land.


`Sir` Lamar Hall of Lattes Raiders died at Gateway Interstate Circuit.


John Ek of Dogpack died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Natalie `Fixer` Remington of Riders of the Apocolypse died at Northern Farm Land.


William Watt of Riders of the Apocolypse died at Northern Farm Land.


`Slutty` Steve Slagle of Rezeaks Racers died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Dale Jackson of Dogpack died at The Pit.


`Tell me why` Kelvin Ross of Riotous Assembly died at The Pits.


`Grease Monkey` Jessica Marshall of shadowOfTheNight died at Lost Oasis.


Jesse Harris of Triumph died at Northern Farm Land.


Leroy Burnette of Triumph died at Northern Farm Land.


Thomas Ulrich of River City Gamblers died at Highway to Hell.


Amos Williams of River City Gamblers died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Melissa Dickens of The Fist Puppets died at Somerset Arena.


Alexander `Tracker` Lacroix of Dogpack died at Road to Somerset.


Dallas `The Cowboy` Johnson of Lords Of Steel died at Somerset Arena.


Ivan `Stoner` Wilson of rebelfishes died at Blown With the Wind.


Richard Carrasco of THERAPISTS died at The Pits.


John Anderson of Rezeaks Racers died at Gates of Texan.


Albert Worthington of Midville MONDOs died at Gates of Somerset.


Earnestine Hernandez of the mad mad crushers died at The Pits.


Rebecca Wilson of the mad mad crushers died at The Pits.


David Souza of the mad mad crushers died at The Pits.


Josephine Renfrow of Ultra Catharsis died at Northern Desert Circuit.


John Hicks of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Texan.


David `UniArm` Frost of rebelfishes died at Gates of Somerset.


Darlene Araujo of rebelfishes died at Gates of Somerset.


Lucas Moore of Killer Konvicts died at Scattered Hills.


Eric `Gumball` Kimball of Scarzams Dragoons died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Ashley `Ash` West of Scarzams Dragoons died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Joseph McManus of Killer Konvicts died at Sandy.


Robin Williams of Meat-Popsicles died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Anthony `Bar-None` Barmore of Meat-Popsicles died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Joyce McKay of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at The Maze.


Bryon `Leon` Lenhardt of Bastille the Raging Scavenger died at Gates of Somerset.


Michael `Hawkeye` Becker of Comanche died at Gates of Somerset.


William Gaskell of Zen Psychotics died at Elmsfield Southern Speed Circuit.


Leigh `One Shot` Oliver of an0maly died at Gates of Somerset.


Shirley Eberhard of Initial Drift died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Richard Yancey of Initial Drift died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Steve `Bionic Action` Austin of Triumph died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


`Judge` Teresa Schreiber of Arbiters died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Katie Belanger of Hot Monkey Rods died at Gates of Firelight.


`Miraculous` Walter Walker of Vault Dwellers died at Gates of Firelight.


Charles `Bubba` Moss of Whiskey Runners died at Highway to Hell.


Joyce Vandorn of an0maly died at Blown With the Wind.


Patricia Bowman of an0maly died at Northern Farm Land.


James Larmon of S.S.S. died at Spooky Forest.


Robbin Faulkner of Fifth Legion died at Telegraph Road.


Brooke Criddle of Fifth Legion died at Telegraph Road.


Robert `Scout` Schoonmaker of *Main Force Patrol* died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Michael `Machine Guns` Collins of *Main Force Patrol* died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


John `Gman` Goodale of Jacks Gunfighters died at Somerset Rally Circuit.



Most Active Gangs

You`ve tired of seeing them on the circuit every time you visit. Every time you leave town, you seem to run into them. But just who are they - who are the most active gangs in Evan right now?

The most active gang on the deathsport circuit has been Devilz rejects. Their most favoured type of event has been the combat, although they have also competed in numerous race events.

Out of town, the most busy squads have been:
1. The Junkyard trucking 2, owned by Evan Courier Service.
2. Firelight Ministry of Tourism, owned by Drive Backwards BFFs.
3. Elmtastic, owned by Karters Crew.
4. Famous Last Words, owned by Road Debris .
5. Old Earth, owned by Garage Boyz.



Big Earners on the Track

This list shows just who has been winning the most lucrative prizes on the circuits and arenas of Evan, during the past month.

1. Luna Sea: 871362.
2. Karters Crew: 456288.
3. The Dionysian Dozen: 448711.
4. Guidos Hitmen: 370723.
5. Joels Bastards: 345592.







Viper Canyon - New Track In Sarsfield


Image by Grograt



Image by Grograt

Viper Canyon was one of several narrow canyons near Sarsfield that were originally used for small convoys. However, once piracy started getting very intense, this particular canyon turned into a bloodbath. So the Sarsfield Militia closed off the canyon, and some time later, the Sarsfield Town Council decided to use it as a race track, to draw some more business to Sarsfield.

Track created by Nekojin of Cats Laughing


The Bullet

A story in three parts

Just remember that, sometimes, it`s hard to tell the good guys from the bad. Moral decisions are never as clear-cut as they seem in the movies of old.

My name is `Big John` Mahoney. Me and my partner, `Little Jack` Simpson, pulled across Badlands border at 1 a.m. on a drizzly Tuesday. A nasty outbreak of Solar Radiation and Taylor`s disease, was racing through the dregs of Somerset, and some friends of mine wanted to do something about it. You can call us a humanitarian relief service if you want, as what we were doing would, in the end, save 100s of lives. We liked to think of it as doing our part to restore civilization.

The Somerset Relief Fund, which was coordinating aid in the emergency, was completely overwhelmed and couldn`t come close to affording the vaccine and treatments necessary. The Rad sickness is rampant and the vaccine and treatments are well established. Taylor`s is mercifully rare, and the serums are fantastically expensive. A Gang called East Evan Trading Company had volunteered, anonymously, to produce and deliver the serums, and Jack and I were chosen to carry the `magic bullets` North.



The two things that I had wanted to know were why some big Hospital like Elmsfield and Somerset wasn`t involved.


Image by Grograt


Like bubonic plague, a town has to be lousy with rats and completely without sanitation for Taylor`s to get a foothold. After that, it`s spread by airborne vectors. It`s terribly hard to catch, but repeated exposure will usually do the trick. The mortality rate is only about 20 percent, but, once you have it, for about two weeks you wish you were dead, and you feel the effects for the rest of your life: shortness of breath, weakness and so on. Most survivors of Taylor`s die from other diseases within a couple of years, and the others are never again able to take care of themselves. The survivors can hardly bury the dead. The effects on the germ plasm are not yet clear, but a high rate of unfavourable mutations has been reported in at least three towns that have been struck. All in all, it is not a jolly disease.

The first part of the trip was going to be pretty safe, so after I got us on the right path and past the ram shackle camp at Shanty, I let my partner take over the driving. Jack was a pretty good kid, and steady, but he lacked experience. About 2:15 I disengaged my gunner controls and climbed back into the sleeping compartment. I knew that I wouldn`t actually get any sleep, but it would help Jack`s confidence to know that I trusted him to handle the rig all by himself.

In any case, the odds of combat on the Shanty / Badland`s run were lower due to intense scouting by some of the more veteran gangs of late, and I could get back in the saddle in a few seconds if I had to.


Image by Lord Foul


When we stopped at Badlands Truckstop, I got out and got us a couple of cups of coffee while Jack saw to Refuelling the lorry. A lot of Brothers just cross their legs and wait until they get to Gateway to refuel on the BL > SS run, but I had no intention of sticking to an economical 55 on this trip, and that was a long way to go on just one juicing. I had no desire to get stuck on some lonely stretch, having to jump myself from my own trailer. Downright embarrassing, that can be.

Besides, there were people suffering in Somerset, and I was carrying their relief, and there was no sense in taking chances..

I`ve been herding a rig for 13 years and have been a ganger in East Evan trading Company, the last seven mostly on the BL / SS run. Of course, I still make runs all over the Evan, going where the money is, but on this route I`m known, established. People know how to find me, and they know that any cargo I carry will get through.



Jack kept the Lorry between 65 and 70 for the next 90 miles and the follow up scout crew in a 5lV8 Flail kept point guard, and it was right around 4:15 when we spotted the Bridges on the half way point to Gateway. The 8L still had almost half a tank on it, but i still wanted to pull off the main drag and head for Southern Pride

Of course, Southern Pride is a lot more than just a place to refuel. If that was all I wanted, we could have continued on for quite a ways. But at SP I could make connections for the next leg.

If you convoy up while on the road, you have to take pot luck. If you stop at some place named `Truck Stop` And `Eats` you can wait an hour for some jockey whose looks you like to show up. But I knew that I could walk into Southern Prides Canteen and have my pick of several Brother gangs I knew and trusted. Besides, the canteen at SP had a new waitress that I was kind of sweet on.

It was my third try before I found a group heading north, but it was a group of four Brothers I knew , and they were just paying their bill. They were, of course, glad to have an experienced ganger along with them, since there were always a few trigger-happy punks between there and Gateway, and an extra, experienced hand never hurts. We agreed on a speed of 70 to Gateway and two of them went to collect their lorry gunners while I got Jack a piece of Sally`s walnut pie. On another trip I would have let the kid keep driving, but this one was too big, too important....

To Be Continued

Story Submitted by Grograt :Renegades Of Thrash Metal


Those Evil Evan Pirates




KLINGON GIRL SCOUTS -4788
CryptKeepers -1426
The Cosmic Kids -870
Cap distributor -621
Shantyville Militia -88
Sabretooth -62
Death Or Taxes -50
Evolution IX -50
Mobsters -50
Rotorheads -504


Highest Reputation In Evan

Monarchs 1448
Guidos Hitmen 1284
The Dionysian Dozen 1271
Triumph Sagal 1113
ZomBPir8Ninjas 974
5ive Crew 959
Bladerunners 715
Road Lords 867
Special Circumstances 844
Rezeaks Racers 811


Highest Fame gang`s In Evan

Joels Bastards 2233
5ive Crew 1337
Lattes Raiders 1238
The Groove Champions 1268
Cap distributor 1190
Guidos Hitmen 1030
Road Lords 1010
Holy Mutant Death Squad 980
The Dionysian Dozen 907
Carne Muerta 829


Deathsport Leagues

The current leaders of Evan`s major leagues are as follows:

Evan Race Ladder - Initial Drift
Evan Deathrace Ladder - WOOUHOU
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - Shattered-n-Bloody
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - 5ive Crew

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Cap distributor
Northern Paintball League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Race League - Vault Dwellers
Somerset Winter Warmup League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League - Joels Bastards



Lewis 'Rick' James

This month, we caught up with Lewis 'Rick' James of Road Lords, one of Evan`s most skilled scouts.
Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla, X_Man.