Image by Lord Foul

Rudy Cosby of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Southern Plateau.

Diane `Lead Lady` Cook of BlackKnights died at Somerset Arena.

Brian Schumacher of headXplode died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Ima Palmer of Road Lords died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.

Kendra `Diggin` Graves of 5ive Crew died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

Gregory Booth of Forsaken died at Blown With the Wind.

James `Crazy Jim` Phillips of CryptKeepers died at Blown With the Wind.

`Eastbound` Sandra Westgate of CryptKeepers died at Road to Elmsfield.

Darren Breen of BD And Sons died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

Michael Chapman of Rezeaks Racers died at Northern Speedway.

Justin Townsend of Iron Wraiths died at Northern Farm Land.

Albert `fix it` Patterson of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Serpentine Road.

Janet `velocity` Durkin of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Serpentine Road.

Albert `Nukem` Duke of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Serpentine Road.

Dorothy Gonzales of Some Serious Slackers died at Gates of Texan.

Bridget Chester of Some Serious Slackers died at Gates of Texan.

Enrique Orduna of Four Horsemen died at Road to Somerset.

Michael Roca of Four Horsemen died at Road to Somerset.

Lewis Williams of Elgin City River Rats died at Northern Farm Land.

Ryan Abbott of Collision Force died at Lonesome Highway.

Eleanor Espinoza of Collision Force died at Acid Land.

Helene Lombardi of Forsaken died at Interstate Mythos.

Wes Moorefield of World of Outlaws died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

Carlos `Santana` Richard of Afrika Korps died at The Pits.

Melinda `I Think I Can` Adkins of The Cosmic Kids died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Evan `Lets Giv`er` Service of The Cosmic Kids died at Scattered Grounds.

Karen Fong of Scraphounds died at Northern Desert Circuit.

Ella `Gory` Gorham of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Hills.

Cristobal Skoog of Bumbleclot died at Scattered Hills.

Nicholas `Bronsen` Wild of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Road to Somerset.

Christine `Party Girl` Partee of Rebels died at Gates of Somerset.

Marc `Samara` Camara of Riotous Assembly died at Gates of Somerset.

Charles `Bitchin`` Pritchett of The Paranoid Tourists died at Gates of Somerset.

Nicolas Wyatt of Crusaders died at Gates of Somerset.

Tiffany Rarick of Deserters died at Gates of Somerset.

Robert Derryberry of Collision Force died at Gates of Somerset.

Manuel Perez of Somerset Militia died at Gates of Somerset.

Robert Diebold of Somerset Militia died at Gates of Somerset.

Michael Silva of Some Serious Slackers died at Northern Farm Land.

Linda Davis of the mad mad crushers died at Telegraph Road.

Scottie `Wingman` Clark of Gearjammers died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

Alberta `Red Shirt` Goforth of Lab Rats died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Alexander `Dirty Drawers` Mattson of Longos Merry Men died at Gates of Somerset.

Randall `Mr` Battle of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Firelight.

`Pissed Off` Manual Kidney of Drive Backwards BFFs died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Carrie `bong head` Lennon of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Maure Dore.

Jeanne Ghent of dustdevils died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

James Owens of MADHAT died at Acid Land.

Linda Ruiz of Forsaken died at Pathway to Darkness.

Jose `I C U ` Manning of The Cosmic Kids died at Road to Elmsfield.

Matt `Whack a Mole` Hinton of The Cosmic Kids died at Road to Elmsfield.

Anna Dicks of The Cosmic Kids died at Road to Elmsfield.

George Dardar of headXplode died at Somerset Arena.

John Brown of The Paranoid Tourists died at Lost Oasis.

Ima `Bitofa` Tickle of Riotous Assembly died at The Pits.

Horace `Hunter` Hooks of Canis Lupus died at The Pits.

Paul Smith of Canis Lupus died at The Pits.

Gregory `Gory Mac` McLaughlin of Cold Pond Swimma died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).

George Lyons of Asphalt acolytes died at Road to Somerset.

Anthony Daugherty of Desert Scorpions died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Brian Moses of Desert Scorpions died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Robert `death wish` Bock of Jacks Gunfighters died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Mike Macleod of Badlands Militia died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Jeane Maldonado of Some Serious Slackers died at Gates of Somerset.

Ismael Boyd of Four Horsemen died at Road to Somerset.

Javier Peebles of Four Horsemen died at Road to Somerset.

Christina Stallings of Four Horsemen died at Road to Somerset.

Carisa `Lefty` Lefler of Geriatric Anarchists died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Diane `Grease Monkey` Anderson of R.Inc. died at Somerset Arena.

Ed Perez of Blacks Marauders died at Lost Oasis.

Andrew Shaw of Blacks Marauders died at Lost Oasis.

`Solid` Eric Truesdale of Karters Crew died at Road to Elmsfield.

`Super` Mario Richardson of Karters Crew died at Gates of Somerset.

Herbert Bare of Forsaken died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

`Shaft` Sean Polk of Deserters died at Lost Trail: Overland.

Gary Cooper of Dead Celebrity died at Forever Yellow Skies.

Karen `Killer` McKibben of R.Inc. died at Somerset Arena.

Betty `Good-n-Plenty` Goodlow of Gearjammers died at Gates of Somerset.

Thomas Kimmel of Collision Force died at Gates of Somerset.

Ryan Jenkins of The 4saken died at Gates of Somerset.

Georgia `Big-Nose` Leibowitz of Gearjammers died at Gates of Somerset.

Adam Bishop of Paladins died at Road to Somerset.

Joshua Miller of Rising Sun died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

James `Spanner` Massey of Riotous Assembly died at Road to Somerset.

Carly `Rhinestone` Rinehart of Battle Royale died at Gates of Somerset.

Tyrone Tyson of Paladins died at Gates of Somerset.

Leah Diaz of dustdevils died at Road to Somerset.

William Burroughs of Dead Celebrity died at Gates of Somerset.

Reva `Burny` Birney of Bastille died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

Sonya Myers of 11th Recon Company died at Scattered Grounds.

Evangelina `Dark Angel` Bryson of Forsaken died at Telegraph Road.

Lupe Paz of Renegade Of Metal died at Forever Yellow Skies.

Napoleon `Fall Guy` Rader of Renegade Of Metal died at Forever Yellow Skies.

Carmen `Fire` Wood of Road_Kill_2009 died at Interstate Mythos.

Scott Goodale of Cap distributor died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.

`Dame` Genoveva Jennings of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Sir` Cody Martin of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Sir` Luis Anderson of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Sir` Jerry Nichols of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Sir` Jeffery Ridge of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Wild` Bill Hickok of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Dame` Joy Koerner of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

`Sir` Thomas Salter of Lattes Raiders died at Spooky Forest.

Patricia `Hissy` Vess of Riotous Assembly died at Gates of Sarsfield.

Robert `Driver/Lg Gun` Holder of Afrika Korps died at The Pits.

Timothy `Big Gun` Woodbury of Afrika Korps died at The Pits.

Danielle `The Bird` Vogel of The Paranoid Tourists died at Blown With the Wind.

`Carniverous` Justin Cargill of The Paranoid Tourists died at Blown With the Wind.

Lisa Sampson of Joels Bastards died at Blown With the Wind.

Princess Barbee of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Salt Flats Canyon.

Robert `Roller` Coster of Four Horsemen died at Northern Speedway.

Rachel Berry of Four Horsemen died at Northern Speedway.

Edward Muth of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Somerset Arena.

Christine `On My Chest` Vanallen of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Northern Desert Circuit.

`Submissive` Fernande Becerra of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Northern Desert Circuit.

George Peppers of Collision Force died at Once Upon a Town.

Gerald McConnell of Collision Force died at Once Upon a Town.

Claude O`Connor of Collision Force died at Telegraph Road.

Linda `the Syringe` Ackerman of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Somerset.

Robert `Fire` Flinn of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Somerset.

Merrill Merrill of The Paranoid Tourists died at Gates of Somerset.

Kathryn Chapman of Somerset Militia died at Gates of Somerset.

Hedy Huntley of The Mages died at Gates of Somerset.

`Marcia` Mark Richardson of Dementia died at Acid Land.

`Lord` Charles Byron of Dementia died at Acid Land.

`Tonto` Philip Rogers of dustdevils died at Highway to Hell.

Michael `The Castrator` Caswell of Street Pizza died at Forever Yellow Skies.

Bonnie Porter of Iron Wraiths died at Somerset Arena.

Sue `Spice` Currie of Gearjammers died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

`Crackshot` Aurelia Riding of Asphalt acolytes died at Road to Somerset.

Ryan Sallee of Some Serious Slackers died at Gates of Texan.

Mack Atkins of Jacks Gunfighters died at The Pits.

Sabrina Pardo of Canis Lupus died at The Maze.

Micheal Bunn of The Paranoid Tourists died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.

Simon Henninger of Cold Pond Swimma died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

`Jigsaw` Julia Jones of CryptKeepers died at Road to Somerset.

Barbara `Barbwire` Mercer of CryptKeepers died at Road to Somerset.

Mildred Staples of CryptKeepers died at Road to Somerset.

David Hinton of MADHAT died at The Pits.

Paul Carter of Paladins died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Andrew Jefferson of Renshai died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.

`Gambler` Rex Pickel of Something else died at Road to Elmsfield.

James `Speedy` McDaniel of 5ive Crew died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

John `Exxon` Valdez of 5ive Crew died at Lost Oasis.

Robert `Bob` Stevens of 5ive Crew died at Lost Oasis.

Jesica Ruggiero of Rezeaks Racers died at Gateway Interstate Circuit.

Christina Fernandez of Collision Force died at Pathway to Darkness.

Henry `Eagle Eye` Vanwinkle of Entorano Zargtyferz died at Gates of Somerset.

William `Trailblaze` Fondren of Entorano Zargtyferz died at Gates of Somerset.

Timothy `Sicknote` Sanchez of Nark0tiks Nippers died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

Samantha `lashes` Springer of Deserters died at Road to Somerset.

`Furious` Frances Fielder of Battle Royale died at Highway to Hell.

`Tricky` Leon Trottier of Joels Bastards died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.

1. Longos Merry Men (Somerset): $6224.
2. Cap distributor (Somerset): $5036.
3. Wasteland Extravaganza (Somerset): $3631.
4. Forsaken (Somerset): $1808.
5. Entorano Zargtyferz (Somerset): $1379.
6. The Cosmic Kids (Somerset): $1357.
7. The Paranoid Tourists (Somerset): $712.
8. Drive Backwards BFFs (Somerset): $478.

In a surprising turn of events, Dead Celebrity is now under new management.

Napoleon Bonaparte seized control of the gang after his release from `Elma`, the nickname of the Elmsfield-based stockade and penitentiary, where he served two years for the crime of reckless endangerment after intentionally driving his lorry through a church.

During court proceedings, Napoleon made the plea that his attempt to destroy the church should be recognized as `a crime of passion`. The little man with the big ego claims he was emotionally provoked after God refused to acknowledge him as a superior.

`I made many attempts throughout the years to accommodate His insolence, but I had to draw the line somewhere. A man`s status above his lessers is the only thing that matters in this world, and He just outright refused to recognize mine. My repeated appeals to His good sense have been answered consistently with silence for decades.`

Tensions have been high within Dead Celebrity since news of Napoleons freedom, as he swore to reclaim the gang upon release. Much blood was expected to spill in a bitter civil war as the members divided their allegiance between Javier and Napoleon, but the takeover happened without incident after Javier mysteriously but conveniently died last night.

Details regarding Javier`s death are numerous and vague, but official authorities are ruling it as `accidental`. The sheriff`s deputy, assigned to the case, was reported as saying:

`Our crack forensics teams have gone over the crime scene numerous times, and, the best we can figure is that Javier Maurice must have accidentally fallen out of bed and onto the blade of a bowie knife 27 times after falling asleep in his room last night.`

`Theres really no reason to assume otherwise, as we asked Napoleon quite sternly if he was involved and he answered `no`. He then went back to vigorously scrubbing out what appeared to be a rather large cranberry juice stain on his coat sleeve. He`s no murderer, that`s for sure. How many murderers do you know that take such pride in their appearance?`

Official leadership of the gang changed over today, and Napoleon is excited to be back in command of this once-proud gang.

`We`re back, and we`re ready to roll. We are going to burn a path from Evan to Heaven, and we wont take our fingers off the triggers until we are having a Pearly `Gates Encounter`.`

So, let`s give Dead Celebrity a cheer of Vikk-tory! The badass Frenchman with the Napoleon Complex is back, and we predict nothing but good fortune for him and his ensemble of surgically-altered miscreants.

As the year progresses, here are the leaders of the major leagues:

Evan Race Ladder - Rising Sun
Evan Deathrace Ladder - Entorano Zargtyferz
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - Entorano Zargtyferz
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - 5ive Crew

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Cap distributor
Northern Paintball League - Joels Bastards

The most drug-addicted gangs currently active in Evan are:

1. Dead Celebrity.
2. Edgerunners.
3. Hungry Hyenas.
4. Mocks Marauders.
5. Pestilence.
6. Afrika Korps.
7. Gearjammers.
8. Mambas Maniacs.
9. Clarinbridge Crushers.
10. Wasteland Extravaganza.

The heaviest addict in Dead Celebrity is Napoleon Bonaparte, and his favourite tipple is Alcohol.