Jul/Aug
2063
Golden Warriors Win Somerset Deathrace League

The Somerset Deathrace League finished, with Golden Warriors taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were Blue Giants, and finishing in third place overall were Coolerheads.

Blood and Iron Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League finished, with Blood and Iron taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were Longos Merry Men, and finishing in third place overall were finger3.

Morgan Sacked!

Reports indicate that the isolated town of Morgan has been sacked by local pirates. Numerous resources, weapons and vehicles were lost to the raiders.

Brooke's Tale

*PART 8*


The Legion had been waiting for an hour when Orth came through the gate with Mellie close behind. The Commander walked across the yard and spoke in a low voice to Marquita Tran, the senior muscle-car driver. Tran nodded her bleached-blond head, waved at several mechanics, and disappeared into the garage with them.


Orth stood on the same ammunition crate that Joel had used earlier. "Folks, we're going to be part of the hunt for the Slaver horde. So far, it's hit a Holy Rollers convoy and Haven Market."


Brooke's stomach sank to her ankles, and she stopped herself from demanding information on whether her family was alright. Find out later. Orth went on, "The Gray Riders are taking the lead, but we're forming up as a separate muscle force, called Task Force One - Recon. We'll have to see what else we can get, but for now, we aren't tied to the fatties." The traditional muscle-drivers' slang for heavy SUVs brought a round of chuckles from the assembled gangers. "What we do once we're out depends on how many cars we get from other gangs, but for now, we're going to be deploying in pairs. Recon One is going to be Brown and me in Tarantula. Recon Two: Flock in Scorpion. Recon Three is Tran in Hawk, with Recon Four: Sines in Kestrel. Recon Five and Six are Deweese in Wolf and Simonsen in Coyote. Ulmer, get Shaman ready and loaded up. If we can get in front of the column, you're going to slow it down. Strang, you're covering Shaman in Rattlesnake. You two are Delay One and Two. Drivers, find your gunners, then report to me on radio procedure."


During Orth's briefing, Mellie had circled around the crowd of crew until she was next to Brooke. As the crowd broke into a hubbub of conversation, she laid a hand on Brooke's shoulder and asked, "How are your Five-Five scores, Brooke?"


Brooke shrugged. "Ninety percent in the last balloon exercise, and my reload time is down to five seconds."


"Good. If you want to get some Slaver heads, you're my gunner."


"Um, sure. If you want me." Brooke nodded, and followed Mellie into the garage. Her stomach fluttered with anticipation. She'd faced fire against the Ironmongers convoy, but this was a much more fearsome enemy.


In the garage, the mechanic crews had pulled the dust covers off six cars: two low, rounded, matt-black Voyager sedans with the conical barrels of Rocket Launchers sticking out of their windscreens, two dark brown Phoenix muscle-cars with Gatling guns fixed just under their headlights and white skulls painted on their hoods, and a pair of long, curving bone-white Vampire muscle-cars with black flames crawling along their deep, curving hoods. The Phoenixes looked big and ugly and slow next to the lighter, sleeker Vampires, but Brooke had seen demonstrations where twin Gatling guns had chewed through several inches of steel, with enough time and ammunition. Ugly and graceless the Phoenixes might be, but Brooke figured they'd need the firepower.


Brooke ran her hand across the curving metal hood of one of the Vampires, her fingertips catching in pits where bullet holes hadn't been fully repaired. "Are you sure you want me, Mellie? Y'know, as your gunner?"


"Of course," Mellie said, unlocking and opening the driver's side door of the other Vampire. Brooke caught the name KESTREL in black letters just under the square steel-plated window. She walked to the passenger side and climbed in next to Mellie. As she pulled the door closed, a surge of adrenaline hit, sending fire through her veins and shivers up her neck. Mellie patted the leather-wrapped steering wheel tenderly, right next to the firing stud for the rockets mounted on the Vampire's curving bumper. "You ready for this?"


"I-I-I think so," Brooke stuttered through chattering teeth. She bent over the footwell and checked her ammunition storage space.


"Relax, we're gonna kick serious ass. Are we ready to go, gunner?"


Brooke leaned back against the sheepskin-covered seat. "I think so."


"Excellent. I'm gonna report in to Orth. You wait here." Mellie slipped out the door and walked out of the garage.


Brooke rested her hand on the dashboard and tried to look more confident than she felt.


###


A swarm of SUVs bearing the liveries of half a dozen gangs and militias assembled just inside the Southern Gate. Outside, a dozen big square Buzzers in the brown of the Somerset Militia waited with their guns turned toward the empty desert beyond. The citizens of Somerset were looking scared, though a few walked among the crews of the SUVs, delivering encouragement and moral support.


Mellie parked Kestrel to one side of the gate, across the courtyards from the SUVs, right behind a gray Phoenix with black lines down its sides, and the black 'G' logo of the Gray Riders on its tail. Lounging against its side was a short, stocky woman in a long coat, the same gray color as the car, with glints of blue in her short black hair. As the Fifth Legion column parked, the woman looked back and waved at Kestrel, then stalked back along the column toward Tarantula. A young man in the same uniform jogged to catch up. "What the hell is she doing here..." Mellie muttered as she killed the purring engine.

Mellie slipped out of the car and stalked back toward Tarantula in the gray-coated woman's wake. The other drivers were converging on Commander Orth. Brooke briefly debated joining the huddle, then decided to stay with Kestrel. All the drivers were Legion veterans of six months or more, highly trained to earn the right to drive a Legion interceptor. Some of the best drivers in the North were huddling around Chasity Orth, or so the Legion propaganda went. She'd be a child in their company.


"Hey, Brooke," Roger said as he came around Kestrel from its sister Hawk, where he was gunning for Tran. "Hurry up and wait, huh?"


"Yeah," Brooke said, running a hand through her hair. "What are we waiting for? Reinforcements are just going to slow us down, if we have to stay slow for some SUVs or something."


"I've been on one of these multi-gang pirate hunts before. If we hit Slavers suddenly, we'll need their firepower."


"If you say -" Brooke noticed two more cars pulling up, a black Stormer, looking like a flattened Phoenix, with a long gun barrel sticking out from its tilted-back windscreen, and a purple Moray with machine-gun arrels nestled in its rounded grille, like fangs in an open mouth. Three figures, all wearing black coats and hoods, exited the cars and stalked over to the Legion huddle. Red star badges glinted on their chests. "Who are they?"


Roger stared at the newcomers, and his eyes widened. "The Raging Scavengers. Reds."


###


"Sergeant Lorna Welt," the Gray Rider said, holding out her hand. "Scout driver. This is Corporal Andrew Richter." The brown-haired young man next to her nodded.


"Pleased," Chasity Orth said, taking the hand. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mellie take a parade posture with her hands behind her back. "I thought you were Colonel Williams' aide."


Lorna shook her head, making the plastic beads in her hair click and clack. "The Colonel's normal aide got shipped out to Elmsfield Hospital yesterday. The Colonel called me in because I scout Somerset once a week at least, and I ran recon the last time Slavers made a run into Somerset. The Colonel told me to load up and join you. I've got two single-seat Phoenixes with Seven-Sixes."

"Good to see you." Orth laid a hand on Mellie's shoulder. "This is Mellie Sines, my chief scout for this trip. After we finish this huddle, I'd like you to coordinate with her on a search pattern."


Lorna's dark eyes went wide, and Mellie went stiff as a statue at Orth's shoulder. Orth had to suppress a grin. A wave of suppressed chuckles went around the circle of Legion drivers, and Mellie nodded stiffly, trying not to look aside at the Gray Rider. "I'd be happy to," Lorna choked out.


"I know you two have worked well together," Orth said with a completely straight face. "Once we're out, you'll be in our formation as Recon Seven and Eight."


Mellie glared around the circle of furtively sniggering drivers, but Lorna simply nodded. "Thank you, ma'am. I look forward to working with you all."
She stepped back to the edge of the circle as two more cars parked behind the column, a Stormer and a Moray. Neither car was personally familiar to Orth, but both looked like solid interceptor builds, and some gangs swore by the armor of the stocky Morays. Orth didn't much like them, though, for the passenger compartment was set much further forward than most muscle cars, and their handling was too slippery and finicky for her taste.


The occupants of the cars got out and walked over to the circle. In the lead was a woman wearing a hood over a crest of fluorescent-green hair. "Is this Task Force One - Recon?" she asked.


"It is. And you are?"


"Kelly Lebow, Raging Scavengers. Sharon Santana, 'Fuzz' Banks." Lebow grinned, and her two companions nodded as their names were mentioned. Santana was a short woman wearing dark goggles, and the much taller Banks was an obvious mutant, with dark bristles covering her lumpy face, sharp fangs, and pointed ears that distorted the shape of her hood. "We came to see if we could join in. We have no love for the money-grubbing capitalists of the Gray Riders, but we hate Slavers even more."


Orth glanced aside at the Gray Riders drivers, who were carefully expressionless. "Good to see you. I think we have enough for the moment. Any more arrivals will be joining the main column." She paused for a moment, then went on, "Scavengers, you're Recon Nine and Ten. Radio channel is four-forty, with four-eighty as a reserve, scramble six-and-four. Three-sixty, scramble two, to communicate with the main force. Once we get out, stay in pairs, drive as pairs, attack as pairs. Watch your partner's back. Keep your speed high and don't get stuck in."


She let that sink in, then gestured to the black-haired Donald Ulmer and Elisha Strang, standing by her side. "Delay One will be dropping spikes if we can get in front of the Slaver column, and running for Somerset at the first sign of struggle. Delay Two, you stay by One. I don't want Ulmer jumped by some random pirate on his way back to town. Strang, you're in charge there." Strang blinked and nodded.


"Everyone, do a final check. We roll in five minutes. Sines, Welt, give me a search pattern before we roll out."


Lorna nodded and grabbed Mellie's arm. "Sure, we'll do that."


###


Brooke watched the driver huddle break up, and Mellie and the Gray Rider woman walked back toward Kestrel. From the furrows in Mellie's brow, she wasn't happy with the conversation. Beside Brooke, Roger said, "I gotta get back to Hawk. Good luck out there!" He turned and hurried to the other Vampire.


Brooke looked over her shoulder and called, "You too!"


A thump on the other side of Kestrel brought Brooke's head around. Her eyes snapped wide as she saw that the Gray Rider woman had pinned Mellie to the side of the Vampire, pulling Mellie's face down to her own for a passionate kiss. Brooke blushed furiously and ducked into Kestrel's gunner seat, dedicating herself to counting the Five-Five ammunition magazines stocked under the dashboard. Then again.


A moment later, the drivers' side door opened and Mellie dropped into her seat and pulled the door closed. Brooke glanced through the steel mesh of the windscreen, and saw Fifth Legion gangers hooting and applauding and other gangers staring. The Gray Rider woman was jogging back to her own car. She grinned back at Kestrel before ducking into her own Phoenix and closing the door.


Mellie swallowed, grabbed a radio headset, and spoke some route directions into it. Then she started the engine and handed the other headset to Brooke. "Well, Brooke, I think I have to explain..."


Brooke put on the headset and interrupted her driver. "Was that Lorna? She's pretty."


Mellie gaped, her eyes going wide as Somerset dollars. "You knew?"




Blue Giants Win Elmsfield Two Guineas League

The Elmsfield Two Guineas League finished, with Blue Giants taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Sentinel, and finishing in third place overall were Elmsfield Bandits.

PA Racers Win Northern Summer League

The Northern Summer League finished, with PA Racers taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Caesars Ghosts, and finishing in third place overall were Joels Bastards.

Kitty Hawk of Steel Panther died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Richard Medina of Blood and Iron died at Gates of Texan.


Pinkie `Pinks` Smothers of Blood Roses died at Gates of Texan.


Philip Rios of Liars and Thieves died at Lost Oasis.


Robert Grayson of Golden Warriors died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


David Coffey of TotalCarnage died at Lost Trail: Dead River.


Theresa Mathews of TotalCarnage died at Lost Trail: Dead River.


`Peddle Pushin` Peter Price of Caesars Ghosts died at Northern Speedway.


`Evil` Eric Warfel of Blood and Iron died at Once Upon a Town.


Josh `Deathmatch` Romero of Cavefish died at Gates of Firelight.


Kelly Rodriguez of Blue Giants died at The Dunes Race Course.


Juanita `Ride?` Harris of Coolerheads died at Scattered Grounds.


Francis Brown of Coolerheads died at Scattered Grounds.


Michael `Hyperstorm` Dotson of Golden Warriors died at Once Upon a Town.


Jacob Groce of The Mighty People Of Armadillo died at Once Upon a Town.


Richard Presley of Blood and Iron died at Gates of Somerset.


William Gaudet of Sentinel died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Thomas Farris of Scarzams Dragoons died at Smokey Hills.


Leroy Palmer of Roads to Madness died at Northern Farm Land.


`Sir.` Wesley Snipes of finger3 died at Once Upon a Town.


Michael Young of Road Rifters died at Once Upon a Town.


Roger Stahl of the mad mad crushers died at Once Upon a Town.


Douglas Shanks of the mad mad crushers died at Once Upon a Town.


James Harewood of the mad mad crushers died at Once Upon a Town.


Taylor Roldan of Bloodguard died at Gates of Somerset.


Effie Sanders of Bloodguard died at Gates of Somerset.


John Higginbotham of THERAPISTS died at Gates of Firelight.


Sheila Purser of THERAPISTS died at Gates of Firelight.


Cedric Bostic of Rabid died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Eric Black of 5ive Crew died at Once Upon a Town.


Matthew Downey of Rabid died at Blown With the Wind.


`Bang Bang` Brenda Tew of Blood and Iron died at Gates of Somerset.


`Fiesty` Felicia Gonzalez of Science Ninja Team died at Gates of Somerset.


Jayne `J. J.` Joplin of Loose Cannons died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Paul Maillet of Hellions died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Rafael Boner of Hellions died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


`The Extremist` Yoshiko Yamamoto of Blood Roses died at Gates of Morgan.


John Barry of King of Clubs died at Northern Farm Land.


Erich Hartmann of The Flying Circus died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Kathleen `ShootsLikeA` Beach of Hellions died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Calista Bramble of Loose Cannons died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Richard Willis of Loose Cannons died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Melissa Wallace of Loose Cannons died at The Dunes Race Course.


Maria Dexter of Golden Warriors died at Pathway to Darkness.


Michael `Sasquatch` Foster of Golden Warriors died at Pathway to Darkness.


Hollis Neville of Wasters died at Gates of Somerset.


Kelvin `Digger` Wells of Womens Auxiliary Balloon Corps died at Dead man`s Road.


Dillon Collins of TotalCarnage died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Christopher `The Bull` Torres of King of Clubs died at Northern Farm Land.


Loretta Miles of Justifiable died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


`Sif` Phyllis Chase of Produce_Vendors died at Road to Morgan.


Jacqueline McRae of Hellions died at Once Upon a Town.


`Flinchin` Franklin Crosby of Produce_Vendors died at Telegraph Road.


Arnold `The Fungus` Smith of Produce_Vendors died at Telegraph Road.


Anthony Dowd of CryptKeepers died at Gates of Somerset.


Wanda Meeker of Blood and Iron died at Northern Farm Land.


Cherie `Littlebottom` Clark of SwordStroke Enterprises died at Road to Somerset.


Mark `Bi-Noculaars` McCarthy of The Suits died at Gates of Somerset.


`Blood` Angela Carter of The F-Bombs died at Gates of Somerset.


Paul Berg of The F-Bombs died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Dan `DannyBoy` Hutchinson of 69th Battalion died at Lonesome Highway.


Rodney `Falklands` Fulkerson of 69th Battalion died at Lonesome Highway.


`Simple` Sidney Cotta of 69th Battalion died at Lonesome Highway.


Calvin Nall of Produce_Vendors died at Sandy.


`Blind` Brad Goldberg of The F-Bombs died at Somerset Arena.


Tommy Dubois of Blue Giants died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


`Bad Azz` Barbara Rothermel of Blood and Iron died at Northern Farm Land.


Mia Gore of The F-Bombs died at Double Down Arena.


Albert Vanmeter of The F-Bombs died at Double Down Arena.


Clinton `Pegleg Clint` Casey of The Ghosts died at Gates of Somerset.


Jack Wacker of finger3 died at Somerset Arena.


Kimberly Marquez of Hellions died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Clay McGowen of Bloodguard died at Pathway to Darkness.


`Greasy` Steven Zimmermann of Hellions died at Pathway to Darkness.


`Boss` Della Coffey of Hellions died at Pathway to Darkness.


Viviana `Crash` Cash of Loose Cannons died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Emory Anderson of Hellions died at Interstate Mythos.


Zola Yu of The F-Bombs died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


`Honest` Abraham Lincoln of The Wolfhounds died at Never Plains: Sand Storm.


Mary Cruz of The Wolfhounds died at Never Plains: Sand Storm.


Jana Gallagher of The Wolfhounds died at Never Plains: Sand Storm.


`Big` Chet Dales of Loose Cannons died at Lonesome Highway.


Theresa `Human Torch` McCullers of Loose Cannons died at Somerset Arena.


`Beavis` Gary Muff of SwordStroke Enterprises died at Road to Somerset.


Samantha `Lion` Lyon of Fist of Steel died at Lost Trail: Broken Ground.


Numbers Paradiso of Blood Roses died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


William `Stitch` Fossum of Wasters died at Oil Slick.


Pamela Witmer of The Wolfhounds died at Gates of Somerset.


Luis Patterson of The Wolfhounds died at Gates of Somerset.


Tommy Hernandez of The Wolfhounds died at Gates of Somerset.


Gladys Ybanez of Golden Warriors died at Maure Dore.


Alice Bowman of Golden Warriors died at Serpentine Road.


Garry McArthur of Golden Warriors died at Serpentine Road.


Alberta Lewis of Steel Panther died at Road to Somerset.


Bruce Giles of Steel Panther died at Road to Somerset.


Georgina `Redneck` Hicks of Blood and Iron died at Once Upon a Town.


Peggy Cohen of Produce_Vendors died at Gates of Somerset.


`Drama Queen ` Marilyn Monroe of -^-HellRazors-^- died at The Dunes Race Course.


James Nelson of MADHAT died at Road to Somerset.


`80 Proof` Johnny Walker of finger3 died at Pathway to Darkness.


Robin Porter of The F-Bombs died at Highway to Hell.


Carlton Mitchell of The F-Bombs died at Highway to Hell.


Ronald `Hell` O`Dell of Sand Storm died at Spooky Forest.


Sara Real of Slumdogs died at The Dunes Race Course.


Thomas `Dingle` Berry of Blood and Iron died at Northern Farm Land.


Laurence `No 56 L.T.` Taylor of Blood and Iron died at Northern Farm Land.


Alisa `BILLY-BOB` Williams of 69th Battalion died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Raquel `MINI` Miller of 69th Battalion died at Forever Yellow Skies.


George `Dubya` Williams of sunset samurai died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


`Mr` King Vancleave of Ragnarok Racing died at Road to Elmsfield.

League Leaders

As the year progresses, here are the leaders of the major leagues:

Evan Race Ladder - -^-HellRazors-^-
Evan Deathrace Ladder - -^-HellRazors-^-
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - -^-HellRazors-^-
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - -^-HellRazors-^-

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Deathrace League - Cavefish
Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League - Joels Bastards
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally II League - Joels Bastards
Northern Summer League - PA Racers
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally II League - -^-HellRazors-^-
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally I League - -^-HellRazors-^-



Political Update

The relations between Badlands Truckstop and the Anarchists has fallen due to an attack on a large incoming food convoy.



Alcohol`s Boys

The most drug-addicted gangs currently active in Evan are:

1. Cuddle Fiesta.
2. Clarinbridge Crushers.
3. The Cosmic Kids.
4. -^-HellRazors-^-.
5. Arbiters.
6. Gearjammers.
7. Mirrored Pain.
8. SOTuk.
9. The Dionysian Dozen -CHQ-.
10. Produce_Vendors.

The heaviest addict in Cuddle Fiesta is John Willis, and his favourite tipple is Alcohol.



Amy Vega

This month, we caught up with Amy Vega of Meles, one of Evan`s most skilled mechanics.
Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla, X_Man.