May/Jun
2047
Whiskey Runners

by TKWPrime


It was late, or maybe early depending on the hours you keep, when the door at Dexter`s banged open. A few of the regulars noticed the figure that walked in, carrying a tattered cardboard box. They nudged their fellows and pointed. Conversations quieted as more eyes turned to the visitor.

`What is he?` one young driver wondered aloud. `Some kind of mutant?`

`Nah`, answered the grizzled crew chief. At 40 years old, next to Dexter himself, the crew chief was probably the oldest person in the bar. `He ain`t a mutant. He`s just old. Older than anybody I ever seen since the Burning Times.`

The old man limped to the bar and deposited his box on the counter. His broad shoulders and thick neck testified to a body that had once been powerful, but the twisted back and uneven length legs spoke of terrible injuries. The exaggerated care with which he moved told of a body worn down and pushed past its limits. What little hair adorned his bullet shaped head was silvery. Bloodshot eyes, one clouded by cataracts, peered from a leathery mask of sun baked wrinkles.

When the bartender came over to get his order, the old man pulled a brown pottery jug from the cardboard box. After a quiet exchange of words, the bartender gestured for Dexter. Dexter listened to the old man and then picked up the jug and uncorked it. Dexter`s eyes widened as he sniffed the contents. After another brief exchange of words, Dexter pulled out a couple of the old jelly jars that served the bar for glassware, and filled them with a rich amber liquid from the jug. The old man lifted a glass and took a long swallow. After waiting to see the old man drink first, Dexter lifted the other jelly jar and drank.

By this time, curiosity had gotten the best of several of the other patrons. Ostensibly to order fresh drinks, several of them had drifted close enough to overhear Dexter and the old man.

`Enjoy that while it lasts,` the old man was saying. `It is just about the very last of the 2033 batch. Damn near the last of any batch. It may be quite a while, if ever, before I can make any that good again.`

After another swallow, the old man continued. `We lived up in an isolated little valley in the mountains north-northwest of that place you folks call Morgan. It was a nice place, good soil, plenty of water. Hard to find even before the Burning. Afterwards, me and some of my boys dug up the old road and rolled boulders down to block the turnoff from the main highway. By the time things were really starting to break down, we had our little sanctuary camouflaged so that the bandits couldn`t find it.`

`We always were self-sufficient. You had to be when you lived so far from the nearest hardware store or green grocers.` The old man snorted. `Hell. Other than me, Dexter, you are probably the only person in here old enough to remember being able to buy exotic foods like bananas and mangos at a grocers.`

`As I was saying. We were self-sufficient. The well`s provided enough clean water to grow crops and keep a bit of livestock going. My son was a better than fair mechanic and he converted what little machinery we had to run on the alcohol and methane that I produced from my fermenters. We were doing okay for ourselves. Even had enough surplus that I could cook up a batch of sour mash and make a bit of this good whiskey that we are sharing.`

`But it wasn`t raining like it used to and I guess the water table has been dropping. We had to dig the wells deeper to get at the water. Then we weren`t getting enough water to keep the livestock going. Then there were not enough to keep the crops watered. Last year, there were not enough water to keep us all alive. My wife was one of them that died because she gave her water ration to our grandchild. She told me I had to stay alive. I had to get them out to someplace where there was food and water.`

The old man bent his head over his whiskey. His old eyes glistened with unshed tears.

`We loaded up all the food and water we could get together on the old lorry that still ran. Hooked an old farm trailer behind it and loaded that with a bunch more stuff. A bit of dynamite that we had saved for emergencies cleared the road. We headed out into those sun blasted plains. Didn`t really know where we were going. Headed north because we figured it might be cooler there. Maybe find good water.`

`Bandits hit us somewhere south of Elmsfield. From what I know now, they must have been a pretty sorry lot. With nothing but an old lorry and some farmers with bows we were almost holding them off. Almost. That how I lost my son.`

`I was driving. Every able body we had was shooting at the bandits. Several of our folks had already been hit bad. My boy saw that we weren`t going to make it. He unhitched the trailer and hid among the supplies. The bandits broke off the attack to swarm the trailer while we continued to run with the lorry. When my boy set off the rest of the dynamite, I think he got all of them.`

`Somehow we made it here to Somerset without running into any more of those killers and thieves. Most of us have gotten jobs at the farms, but a few of our younger folks have started organizing a gang of their own. I don`t much care for racing and killing folks for entertainment; but, my grandson has a dream that one day he will get rich enough to wipe out all the bandits in the world as revenge for killing his father. I won`t pay for his madness but I won`t stand in his way either. He is using our old farm name for his gang. TappaKegaWhiskey.`

`I`ve started working with some of the local growers to start up a distillery. You`ll recognize our product by the TKW Distilleries label that it will carry. Once I get the production up enough, I figure we can even make fuel alcohols. Of course, until I can build some decent stills, even the drinking spirits might taste like fuel.`

The old man drank the last swallow of whiskey from his jelly jar. Reaching across the bar, he shook hands with Dexter. `I`ll leave the rest of that jug and the two more in this box with you. Put them aside for special occasions. With a little luck, maybe we`ll both live long enough to see me make some more before this runs out.`

With that the old man turned, limped to the door, and was gone.

ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS Win Northern Paintball League

The Northern Paintball League finished, with ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS taking the overall victory and a prize of $25000. The runners-up were Geriatric Anarchists, and finishing in third place overall were Longos Merry Men.

Timmy `Hack-saw` Jenkins of Geriatric Anarchists died at Road to Elmsfield.


Rex Cahill of Geriatric Anarchists died at Road to Elmsfield.


Merle `The Pearl` Edmonds of Geriatric Anarchists died at Road to Elmsfield.


Else `If` Hacker of Advanced Race Labs died at Scattered Hills.


Luci Ferrari of Advanced Race Labs died at Scattered Hills.


Mario `Wimble` Andersen of Advanced Race Labs died at Scattered Hills.


Bambi Hunter of Advanced Race Labs died at Scattered Hills.


`MachineGun` Pedro Kluge of Troubadours died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Martha `Vineyard` Watkins of Vault Dwellers died at Road to Somerset.


Phillip `Showstopper` Reinhard of SD Rollers died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Guy `Fireman` Montag of Advanced Race Labs died at Once Upon a Town.


Hassan Sabbagh of Advanced Race Labs died at Once Upon a Town.


Ty Poe of Advanced Race Labs died at Once Upon a Town.


Stanley Dowell of The Vanguards died at Somerset Arena.


Sherry Curry of Road Lords died at Lost Oasis.


Shanon Gutierrez of Weasel Works died at Road to Elmsfield.


Hugh Smith of VINDICATORS died at Road to Elmsfield.


Fernando Giannone of Lattes Raiders died at Scattered Grounds.


Patricia `Hellgirl` Grice of R.Inc. died at Blown With the Wind.


William Kemp of The Cosmic Kids died at Road to Elmsfield.


Harry `Racoon` Rivera of Produce_Vendors died at Once Upon a Town.


`Doctor` Kristy Linde of Longos Merry Men died at Gates of Firelight.


Michael `Macho` Camacho of Longos Merry Men died at Gates of Firelight.


Kelly `Moveit` Maas of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


Lynda `Hiccup` Hite of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


`Fussy` Amanda Cabrera of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


Jerrell `Legend` Leger of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


Carlene `Well` Nickell of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


Troy `Tempest` Rodriguez of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


Joseph `Raygun` Reyes of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Grounds.


Carl Brown of Collision Force died at Gates of Somerset.


Kimberly `Quickfire` Papineau of DeathFromAbove died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


`King` Solomon Sarver of DeathFromAbove died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Robert `Point Blank` Bevers of DeathFromAbove died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Yuriko `Kunoichi` Tanaka of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Frank `Hard-Boiled` Hartigan of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Nathan `Big Slug Nate` Colbert of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


`Oh` Donna Stanley of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


William `Loose` Cannon of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Chelsea `Sad Eyes` Reyes of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


`Get Paid` Wade Pearce of SD Rollers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Will Power of Advanced Race Labs died at Scattered Grounds.


Richard Austin of Canis Lupus died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Major Marcus of Paladins died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


John `the` Butler of MADHAT died at Pathway to Darkness.


Herbert `Herb` Ledesma of MADHAT died at Pathway to Darkness.


Aaron Abadie of the mad mad crushers died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Thomas `Brodie` Brogdon of MADHAT died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Brenda Hayworth of MADHAT died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


`Jimmy` James Lane of Pariah Strike died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


Max Brantley of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Lost Oasis.


Nathan Parmenter of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Lost Oasis.


Angelica Storm of Paladins died at Northern Speedway.


Stewart Griffen of ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Steven Jones of The temps died at Somerset Arena.


Ellis Kelly of Advanced Race Labs died at Road to Somerset.


Ralph Salcedo of Advanced Race Labs died at Road to Somerset.


Oscar `Leatherman` Gerber of Vault Dwellers died at Gates of Somerset.


Julie Thomas of R.Inc. died at Lost Oasis.


Deloris Harris of R.Inc. died at Lost Oasis.


Fred Harvey of Battalion de San Patricio died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Harry Hull of VINDICATORS died at Scattered Grounds.


`Juan` Carlos Martinez of Longos Merry Men died at Road to Somerset.


`Earless` Edward Gaston of Produce_Vendors died at Scattered Hills.


William Hudson of Dementia died at Road to Elmsfield.


Rachel `Welsh` Kilby of Battalion de San Patricio died at Once Upon a Town.


Ellsworth `Goner` James of Drive Backwards BFFs died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Robert Hearne of Lattes Raiders died at Scattered Grounds.


Danial Mikkelsen of Riotous Assembly died at Northern Desert Circuit.


John Kirby of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Mary Marble of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


William Langston of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Patricia Holmes of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Kristine Levesque of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Rebecca Wilson of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Gerald Hisey of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


David McPeters of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Edward Naylor of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.


Lucy Ash of Special Circumstances died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Robert `Muchos` Armstrong of VINDICATORS died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Will Smith of Cuddle Fiesta died at Maure Dore.


David Rodriguez of SD Rollers died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Charles McAlister of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Highway to Hell.


Steven Hartzog of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Highway to Hell.


John Hunter of Vigilante Sun died at Once Upon a Town.


Carl Spain of SD Rollers died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Bertha Jackson of Rebels died at Somerset Arena.


Andrea Slaughter of Vigilante Sun died at Road to Somerset.


``Mech` Calvin Parson of Les Louves Grises died at Road to Somerset.


Danny `Can Do It` Tidwell of The Cosmic Kids died at Lost Oasis.


Ping Session of Advanced Race Labs died at Road to Elmsfield.


David `Pappy` Blais of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Gloria `THE WACKER` Pulley of ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS died at Road to Somerset.


Gwendolyn `SCOUT MOMMA` Parent of ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS died at Road to Somerset.


`Ambitious` Sarah McMurray of Drive Backwards BFFs died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Marcus McLoud of Paladins died at Somerset Arena.


James McMurray of Gonzos Goons died at Northern Speedway.


Scarlett `Red` Doody of Burnt Tree Security died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


`Crafty` Calvin Youngblood of Burnt Tree Security died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Lillie `the bullet` Bernier of Burnt Tree Security died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Demetrius `Racing Line` Ruiz of Vault Dwellers died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Michelle `Bell` Lewis of Riotous Assembly died at Forever Yellow Skies.


`Wicked` William Weisinger of The Vanguards died at Lost Oasis.


Earl `Rozah` Detwiler of GovermantResistance died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Ivan `Kerensky` Grey of Les Louves Grises died at Road to Somerset.


Bruce `Hulk` Banner of Les Louves Grises died at Road to Somerset.

Evan Vehicle Guide

PBR StreetGang


The PBR Streetgang, while being a bit slow and heavy depending on your cargo, can make trade runs successfully because of the weaponry mounted in the chassis.

It has a Reinforced Ram in front with a heavy MG pointing through the grille.

On the sides, it has a gatling/MMG pair. One each, both sides.
The rear quarter mounts 2 Heavy MGs.

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With a fuel tank of 125, PBR Streetgang can reach any town except Firelight. And even with 4 reloads for each weapon, there is 1,700 bulk for cargo. But beware of carrying a full payload, especially of engines: heavy cargo can really slow this fighting vehicle down.



If you load up this truck with some good gunners and run it solo use a good scout as driver, to get the lower combat rating from having no escorts you will be able to shoot your way out of any ambush you come up against.

If you fight an ambush on a Gates encounter, you have a LOT of spare drivers you can use to drive home LOTS of loot cars!

Two Axle Lorry, 8L
Weapons:
Reinforced ram, heavy machine gun F
Medium machine gun, gatling gun L
Medium machine gun, gatling gun R
2 Heavy machine guns B

Crew: Driver, 7 Gunners
Cargo: Over 1,700 typical reloads:4 for each weapon
Tyres: Reinforced
Fuel: 125
Armor: F45, B50, L45, R45, T6, U9
Weight: 19,883 lbs
Combat rating: 295
Source: JD_Basher of GearJammers



Submit your own designs


We want to hear from you. Just send the stats, together with a brief description -an advert like those above, or a discussion of the strengths and the weaknesses of the design - to Valiance

A screenshot is a must. Ideally upload it to a web site. If not, PM for an email address.


Evan Leagues

As the year progresses, here are the leaders of the major leagues:

Evan Race Ladder - Advanced Race Labs
Evan Deathrace Ladder - Advanced Race Labs
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - Longos Merry Men
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Advanced Race Labs

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Advanced Race Labs
Northern Paintball League - ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS
Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League - Advanced Race Labs
Somerset Race League - Advanced Research Labs



Mildred 'MRS PMS' Velazquez

One of today`s most famous mechanics is a member of ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS - we are referring of course to Mildred 'MRS PMS' Velazquez.

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.