Mar/Apr
2049
The World of Evan According to Basher:

In this issue we focus on the sandy and broken roadways of Interstate Mythos between Somerset and Gateway.

If you are running missions between towns, this map is one of the easiest to evade any Pirates chasing you. The road is BUMPY as all get out, but the dunes offer a nice smooth getaway if you REALLY feel like running. Try to hit the dune ridges at close to 90 degrees. If you approach the ridge at this angle with MODERATE speed you won`t nosedive into the sand or Barrel-Roll your car.

This map will give the `Vehicular Combat Connoisseur` goose bumps with the MANY dunes and objects to hide behind.

Care should be taken if you are in a large vehicle because the sands here will shift and slide under your weight and make DRIVING a priority over shooting.

In a heavy car?
Keep your speed up and use the terrain to your advantage. Your suspension can take the punishment here.

In a `Fast-Mover`?

SPEED IS LIFE!

Keep moving FAST while maneuvering and you WILL catch your enemies off guard! Try to keep your `fast mover` on the sand.... Sand dune ridges are notorious for flipping fast cars!


Image by Lord Foul


The long bridge might seem like a good place to shoot from... It`s NOT! Unless you have a few mortars or Grenade Launchers handy.
Be careful of ANY large `cone-shaped` depressions in the sand..... Some of them are impossible to get out of if you fall into them at a slow speed.
This reporter has seen MANY large scouts on this map and most have ended well for the players involved.

Take your time.... DON`T put the pedal to the metal for the first 10 turns or so. Use slower acceleration to get used to the sand underfoot. Look around for the enemy and plan a `conservative` attack plan. The Pirates tend to mire themselves in the deep sand or trying to get up hills trying for a shot at you.


Slaythofens Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League finished, with Slaythofens taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were Longos Merry Men, and finishing in third place overall were Lattes Raiders.
In Memory of Ramona Weaver.

Lattes Raiders Win Somerset Race League

The Somerset Race League finished, with Lattes Raiders taking the overall victory and a prize of $120000. The runners-up were Slaythofens, and finishing in third place overall were The Paranoid Tourists.

Slaythofens Win Somerset Winter Warmup League

The Somerset Winter Warmup League finished, with Slaythofens taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were The Paranoid Tourists, and finishing in third place overall were Exalted.
In loving memory of Marie `The Reaper` Osborne

Slaythofens Win Somerset Spring Challenge League

The Somerset Spring Challenge League finished, with Slaythofens taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Ring of Fire, and finishing in third place overall were The Paranoid Tourists.
In Memory of Joe Boomer.

William Aubry of Four Horsemen died at Telegraph Road.


Fumiko `Cocoa` Lococo of Four Horsemen died at Telegraph Road.


Thaddeus Lind of Lazzas Lunatics died at Somerset Arena.


Janna Douglas of BOB-BagOfBones died at Once Upon a Town.


`Bad Boy` Billy Bostic of Dryfus Dragoons died at Highway to Hell.


Timothy `Jackass` Jackson of Battle Royale died at Road to Elmsfield.


Teresa `SixGun` Armstrong of Exalted died at Somerset Arena.


Ramona Weaver of Slaythofens died at Somerset Arena.


`Descendant of` Chuck Norris of Slaythofens died at Somerset Arena.


`Sgt` Alvin York of Slaythofens died at Somerset Arena.


Sharon `The Cat` Herring of Exalted died at Northern Desert Circuit.


`Dame` Kimberly Hammack of Lattes Raiders died at Northern Desert Circuit.


`Toxic` Rusty Pipes of Team Bansi died at Once Upon a Town.


Julie Robinson of tequite died at Elmsfield Hills Rally Circuit.


Craig `ROLLOVER` Conover of Longos Merry Men died at Smokey Hills.


Bernard `Speedy` Lessard of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Road to Somerset.


Louis `THE RED` Barron of Longos Merry Men died at Smokey Hills.


`Saint` Peter Madruga of Whiskey Runners died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Jacqueline `Boom-Boom` Davidson of Whiskey Runners died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Earl `Beekiller` Reiley of Whiskey Runners died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Esther York of Whiskey Runners died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Kelly Goetz of Jackknife Armada died at Road to Somerset.


Barbara `MRS BOMBER` Ireland of ADVANCED RADICAL LUNATICS died at Devils Fingers.


Thomas `Ten-Four` Peters of The Paranoid Tourists died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Alex Cole of MADHAT died at Forever Yellow Skies.


`Sex Pistol` Susan Ruff of The Groove Champions died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


`T` Rex Harris of The Groove Champions died at Pathway to Darkness.


Erik Brandt of Four Horsemen died at Gates of Somerset.


Norma `Oversteer` Marshall of Pestilence died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Brenda Tanner of Jackknife Armada died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Jeremy Harris of Jackknife Armada died at Gates of Somerset.


Jon Woo of Jackknife Armada died at Gates of Somerset.


George `Highlander` Hale of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Sandy.


Mac `Intosh` Beam of Beam. died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


`Eyeball` Edward Thomas of Produce_Vendors died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


`The Solo Mon` Charles Solomon of Produce_Vendors died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Gwendolyn Joseph of Sons of Avernus died at Road to Somerset.


Kirk Brownell of Sons of Avernus died at Road to Somerset.


Daniel Lynch of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Firelight.


`Sir` Darren Bess of Lattes Raiders died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Deborah `Swirvin` Irvin of Weasel Works died at Somerset Arena.


Ernest `The Madman` Golden of The Cosmic Kids died at Road to Somerset.


Marcus Macleod of Paladins died at Road to Somerset.


Brian Jones of Sons of Loathing died at Road to Somerset.


Robert McFarland of Justice Delivered died at Lost Oasis.


Gilbert Patten of Dementia died at Highway to Hell.


`Mama` Denice Redmond of Dementia died at Highway to Hell.


Scott `The Bombardie` Sylvester of Dementia died at Highway to Hell.


Timothy Weaver of The Underdogs died at Blown With the Wind.


Ricky Rockett of Paladins died at Somerset Arena.


Victoria Evangelista of The Paranoid Tourists died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Rudolph Mayes of Los Banditos Marodos Negras died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Carlotta `Valdez` Venegas of Guns Gears Getaway died at Road to Somerset.


Richard `Nose` Munoz of Justice Delivered died at Road to Elmsfield.


King Diamond of Retribution Of Metal died at Serpentine Road.


Garret `Cruise` Ruiz of Justice Delivered died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Jack `Frost` Weiss of Justice Delivered died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Matthew `No` Peek of Justice Delivered died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Theresa `Terror` Martinez of Justice Delivered died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Gregg `RICK` James of Justice Delivered died at Highway to Hell.


Constance `Wilt` Chamberlin of Justice Delivered died at Blown With the Wind.


Jacqueline `Jackie` Bess of Justice Delivered died at Blown With the Wind.


Thanh `the Man` Ortiz of Justice Delivered died at Blown With the Wind.


James `Heartless` Hart of Justice Delivered died at Blown With the Wind.


Phil Constantino of Ravenwood died at Somerset Arena.


Elisa Mendez of Scarzams Dragoons died at Northern Farm Land.


Susan `Banshee` Sheehan of Scarzams Dragoons died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Dana Brand of Team Bansi died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Mark Phillips of Team Bansi died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Thomas Jones of Iron Wraiths died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Eddie `Step On My ` Johnson of Ravenwood died at Blown With the Wind.


Nathan `Left Ear` Lasater of Scarzams Dragoons died at Gateway, The Trench.


Pat Finn of Jackknife Armada died at Lost Oasis.


Glenn Shows of MADHAT died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Chester `Big Pain` Jones of All Sizes Shipping died at Interstate Mythos.


John Hodges of All Sizes Shipping died at Interstate Mythos.


Alan `Lamb` Shanks of Battle Royale died at Road to Somerset.


`Sir` Tony Blue of Lattes Raiders died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Eugene `Dangling` Leal of Justice Delivered died at Road to Elmsfield.


Gail Jensen of Cap distributor died at Road to Somerset.


Amber Escobar of Legends of the Interstate died at Sandy.


Gregory McCoy of Legends of the Interstate died at Sandy.


Robert Lucas of Legends of the Interstate died at Road to Somerset.


Lisa Monico of Four Horsemen died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Romona May of MADHAT died at Lost Trail: Broken Ground.


Robert `Bob` Bolton of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Scattered Grounds.


Fabian Ferrari of Paladins died at Somerset Arena.


Hector `The Molector` Fischer of Guns Gears Getaway died at Lost Oasis.


Tammy Tompkins of Maximum Overdrive died at Road to Elmsfield.


Suzanne `Wizzer` White of Justice Delivered died at Scattered Hills.


Joseph `Biggy` Bigelow of Justice Delivered died at Scattered Hills.


Matthew `Cannons` Hart of Mad Hatter, Inc. died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Carter Mobley of Four Horsemen died at Lost Oasis.


Andrea Jackson of Jackknife Armada died at Gates of Somerset.


Angelica Aguilera of Paladins died at Somerset Arena.


Gabriel `Angel` Acosta of Highwaymen died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Jeremy `Cutter` Sawicki of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Franklin `Munster` Eddy of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Joseph Petrucci of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Anna Barnhardt of Ravenwood died at Once Upon a Town.



Evan`s Most Wanted

The most wanted gangs in Evan today are listed below. The bounty listed for each gang is a combination of the amount offered by local vigilante groups and by disgrunted individuals, and represents the amount of money you would expect to be paid for each senior member of the gang you kill.

1. Longos Merry Men (Somerset): $3370.
2. The Underdogs (Somerset): $807.
3. Butane (Badlands Truckstop): $678.
4. Paladins (Somerset): $656.
5. Combat Wombats (Somerset): $274.
6. Badland Rudeboys (Badlands Truckstop): $243.
7. Dementia (Somerset): $212.
8. Desert Scorpions (Badlands Truckstop): $178.

Scorpions on the Rise: Continued

by J.D. Basher





Sue released her hand from Mikes mouth, he inhaled slowly looking where her hand pointed.

That insidious `clicking` sound was louder than ever making Mike unconsiously move backward away from the sound. He backed up into Sue stepping on her toe. She gripped his shoulder and whispered.... `Easy Mike......`

They sat and listened until the leafy vines covering their hide-away moved.
They both shuffled back into the cave as the leaves rustled. Only 3 meters from the cave entrance they found the wall. This was as far as they could go and they were making themselves as small as possible in the cramped space.

Mike unslung his SMG as he squatted on his heels. `What the hell is that` he asked outloud to himself.

Sue patted him on the shoulder and said, `Keep your finger OFF the trigger `Rambo`, we might get out of this one.`

Sue slowly pulled her SMG in front of her and moved to the cave entrance. No vine movement now. Mike`s hand was `glued` to her backpack gripping the `hold-down` straps..... Where she went he followed.

The `clicking` sound was still radiating from everywhere but not so intense as it was.
Sue knelt down next to the vegetation covering their hideout and set the SMG on her knee. She turned to Mike and gave him the `one-finger-over-mouth` `Shhhhhh` then reached out with one hand and moved the vines apart to get a better look.

Hard packed soil and sand dunes greeted her gaze from their cave. `Nothing out there now` she said. The `clicking` sound went faint in the darkness.

Sue stood up and turned to go to the back of the cave and tripped over Mike. She fell hard. `DAMMIT mike!` she whispered trying to catch her breath.
That was IT!.......She had had enough of his wimpy attitude!

She kneeled next to Mike and grabbed him by the front of his coat and pointed her finger in his face. `LOOK, `Weenie-boy` I`m not getting killed trying to teach you to survive in the wilderness.......GOT IT?` A hard poke in his chest emphasized her point. Mike winced when her finger hit him and he raised his hands in a mock surrender `Got it---- You bet, Sue!`

`This isn`t a GAME my friend!... We could DIE out here!` she hissed, looking him in the eye. Sue looked back at the veil of leaves covering the cave entrance. `We have about 6 hours till daylight.....` she said softening her voice, `Curl up and have a snooze till then!`

He did. Knowing Sue was there helped him get the best sleep he had ever remembered.

To be continued...


Evan Leagues

The current leaders of Evan`s major leagues are as follows:

Evan Race Ladder - Lattes Raiders
Evan Deathrace Ladder - Slaythofens
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - Riotous Assembly
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Slaythofens

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Somerset Race League - Lattes Raiders
Somerset Pedestrian Combat 1 League - Lattes Raiders
Northern Paintball League - Weasel Works
Somerset Winter Warmup League - Slaythofens
Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Holy Mutant Death Squad



Luis Mercer

This month, we caught up with Luis Mercer of Bladerunners, one of Evan`s most skilled drivers.
Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.