Jul/Aug
2083
Kaizers Orchestra Win Northern Semi-Pro Combat League

The Northern Semi-Pro Combat League finished, with Kaizers Orchestra taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were Blacks Deliveries, and finishing in third place overall were Ring of Fire.

Kaizers Orchestra Win Somerset Deathrace League

The Somerset Deathrace League finished, with Kaizers Orchestra taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were PA Racers, and finishing in third place overall were The Vanguards.

Kaizers Orchestra Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League finished, with Kaizers Orchestra taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were Rocky Horror, and finishing in third place overall were El Nubnubs.

The Tiger Sharks Win Elmsfield Two Guineas League

The Elmsfield Two Guineas League finished, with The Tiger Sharks taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Kaizers Orchestra, and finishing in third place overall were The Timeouts.

Gabriel `Soylent` Green of Holistic Detective Agency died at Gates of Texan.


Joanna Bishop of Holistic Detective Agency died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


Albert Watson of Blacks Deliveries died at Gates of Somerset.


Tom Thomas of Clan Hammer died at Pathway to Darkness.


Rogelio Smith of rebelfish resurgent II died at Blown With the Wind.


Ernest McDavid of Kaizers Orchestra died at Oil Slick.


Helene Finger of Clan Hammer died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Arturo Aguirre of The Salt Mob died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


Sheree Beasley of rebelfish resurgent II died at Road to Somerset.


Roger Ching of rebelfish resurgent II died at Lost Oasis.


Samuel `Dead Eye` McGee of Icky Posse died at Gates of Texan.


`Vicious` Victor Hillman of The Vanguards died at Gates of Elmsfield.


`The Younger` Luvenia Delahoussaye of El Nubnubs died at Road to Somerset.


Jack Williams of Rizon Oni died at The Pit.


`Irritable` Ira Rizzuto of SuperAwesome VillainsForever! died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


`Dog Tired` Deborah Jackson of SuperAwesome VillainsForever! died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Robert Dykstra of SuperAwesome VillainsForever! died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Jerry `The Nonce` Ponce of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Once Upon a Town.


Victoria Price of Clan Hammer died at Gates of Texan.


`Il Consiliare` Jack Goldberg of Anubis Cartel died at Gates of Texan.


`The Brash` Jesse Suttle of Anubis Cartel died at Gates of Texan.


`Sister` Josephine McMahon of The Vanguards died at Northern Speedway.


`Big Hen` Patricia Henry of The Vanguards died at Lost Oasis.


`Clever` Michelle Clevenger of The Vanguards died at Lost Oasis.


Earnestine Becraft of Cotten Creek Outlaws died at Road to Somerset.


Warren Newsome of Ass Butts died at Northern Farm Land.


Carol Caine of Blacks Deliveries died at Gates of Elmsfield.


`Mo` Lester Quintero of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Pearlie `Coma` Chestnut of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Steven `Boomer` Krawczyk of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Leslie Bibb of The Purple Foxes died at Outback of Nowhere.


Pierre `Frogster` Marshall of The Vanguards died at Road to Somerset.


Amanda `Mandimel` Melendez of The Vanguards died at Road to Somerset.


Bessie Peck of Blacks Deliveries died at The Pit.


Quintin Cromwell of The Salt Mob died at Double Down Arena.


Johnny Chisolm of Have An Ice Day died at Road to Somerset.


Eugene `Sawbones` Carr of The Vanguards died at Never Plains: Sand Storm.


Jackie `Jock` McLaughlin of The Vanguards died at Never Plains: Sand Storm.


`Brainless` Bryan Booker of The Vanguards died at Road to Elmsfield.


John Delorenzo of Clan Hammer died at Scattered Grounds.


Fred King of Clan Hammer died at Scattered Grounds.


John Munn of Dead Stop died at Once Upon a Town.


Marc `Buku` Green of rebelfish resurgent II died at Lost Oasis.


Aaron Twombly of SAO Survivors died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Ladonna `Labomba` Brainard of Overheater died at Interstate Mythos.


Scott `Stitches` Jones of Overheater died at Interstate Mythos.


`Hinky` Ralph Hinnenkamp of The Vanguards died at Sandy.


Joseph `Robbo` Robinson of The Vanguards died at Sandy.


Betty McClain of The Brassicas died at Road to Somerset.


Christie Danforth of The Brassicas died at Road to Somerset.


Micheal `MG` Lara of Cotten Creek Outlaws died at Road to Somerset.


Wilson Ambrose of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


James Graves of Harley Nomads died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Tyler Dawkins of Drummers died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Alejandro Rogers of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset.


James `Jammin` Knight of Cotten Creek Outlaws died at Gates of Somerset.


Ariel Allen of Rabid Groundhogs died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Matthew `Paris` Hylton of No Aiming Just Shooting died at Gates of Sarsfield.


Michael Jimenez of car stuff? died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


George Rivera of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Once Upon a Town.


Catherine `Wifey` Green of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Somerset.


Rosemarie `rose garden` Gardner of Dead Stop died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Thomas `boom boom` Perez of Dead Stop died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Jennifer `Metal` Core of Cotten Creek Outlaws died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


Jack Gordon of Cotten Creek Outlaws died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


Patrick Collins of Cotten Creek Outlaws died at Road to Somerset.


Garland `El Dude` Rivera of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Somerset.


Holly `Bombadier` Swartz of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Somerset.


`Snide` Milo Snedeker of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Somerset.


Setsuko Hurst of El Nubnubs died at Gates of Somerset.


Solomon Sharpe of Tub of Blood Bunch died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


Stewart Thompson of Tub of Blood Bunch died at The Dunes Race Course.


Tequila Sun of Tub of Blood Bunch died at Road to Somerset.


Ricky Cox of the echo died at Road to Elmsfield.


Ed Boatwright of SAO Survivors died at Once Upon a Town.


Abigail Nottingham of SAO Survivors died at Once Upon a Town.


Christa Dancy of SAO Survivors died at Once Upon a Town.


Karen Davis of El Nubnubs died at Gates of Sarsfield.


Matthew Holmstrom of Malatovs zyzdtails died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


`Doctor` Timothy Watson of El Nubnubs died at Sandy.


`Lunatic` Corey Riggins of Gunsmoke n Chainsaws died at Sandy.


Robert Krupp of SAO Survivors died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.



Evan`s Most Wanted

The most wanted gangs in Evan today are listed below. The bounty listed for each gang is a combination of the amount offered by local vigilante groups and by disgrunted individuals, and represents the amount of money you would expect to be paid for each senior member of the gang you kill.

1. PolyTech (Somerset): $331.
2. Turner, Harvest and Ramirez (Somerset): $269.
3. SuperAwesome VillainsForever! (Somerset): $96.
4. PolyTech (Badlands Truckstop): $88.



Movers and $hakers

This list shows just who has been winning the most lucrative prizes on the circuits and arenas of Evan, during the past month.

1. Quantum Symphony: $2560908.
2. Kaizers Orchestra: $753835.
3. El Nubnubs: $728939.
4. Blacks Deliveries: $325198.
5. The Vanguards: $306708.

Leagues Roundup

As the year progresses, here are the leaders of the major leagues:

Evan Race Ladder - Kaizers Orchestra
Evan Deathrace Ladder - Snakes of Freedom
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - PerforatedPoo
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Snakes of Freedom

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally I League - PolyTech
Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League - Kaizers Orchestra
Northern Summer League - Steam Army
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally II League - No Aiming Just Shooting
Circuit of Evan Rally III League - Kaizers Orchestra
Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Kaizers Orchestra
Somerset Deathrace League - PA Racers



Political Update

A well-known activist from the Evan Reds was preaching from his soap box again about arranged betting on arena events. Locals caught on and stopped betting. This caused great loses to the mafia. The activist was later found dead, a bullet to the head. Relations have deteriorated.

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.