Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Lebowski, he called himself The Dude. Now, Dude - theres a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe thats why I found the place so darned interestin. See, they call Los Angeles the City Of Angels; but I didn find it to be that, exactly. But Ill allow it as there are some nice folks there. Course I ain never been to London, and I ain never seen France. And I ain never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But Ill tell you what - after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story Im about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin every bit as stupefyin as youd seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story Im about to unfold took place in the early 90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sadm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes theres a man... I won say a hero, cause, whats a hero? Sometimes, theres a man. And Im talkin about the Dude here - the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, theres a man, well, hes the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And thats the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if hes a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin for laziest worldwide. Sometimes theres a man, sometimes, theres a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. Ive done introduced it enough.